Posted by: Noodle | 2008/09/12


Hi CS,

Hopefully I have found a new shrink. Going to see her on tuesday. Falling to pieces... yet again... you know when somebody has cheated on you there are certain things that was a dead give away and only afterwards you realize it, like the sudden silences when you phoned him unexpectedly, the " rude"  way he used to try and get rid of you when you phoned him for what ever reason, the phone always being off or the way he makes you feel that you are just being paranoid.... or that you are the one being silly for just even thinking it.... yes so I have a history of a cheating spouse I left I have all this bagage that I am not over and I try and try and try and those feelings come back and I can only supress them for so long before I start thinking that perhaps it' s not my imagination. or perhaps I am actually so far off my trolley that nobody can help me not even my meds... and that I am doomed to push everybody away that cares for me.....and live my life alone and die alone.... and no I' m not suicidal... relax... not there yet..... that is why I found a new shrink to go and see every week religously... and to see if I need new meds..... my depression has really increased in a bad way. and another problem is my current partner first I don' t share and when I do share he isn' t really intersted, hows that for funny, he just says I' m not your X I don' t cheat on you... but he doesn' t really listen to what I' m saying about the feelings that his behavour is causing in me, the old feelings that are coming back... perhaps I am just paranoid ? what would your reaction / treatment plan be on this one CS ??? I just want to be happy a feeling of bliss actually .... yeah yeah recreational drugs will do that but only for a while... relax I' m not doing drugs... only the prescribed ones *wicked laugh* and it feels that I' m loosing my sanity with that as well.... I just want normal like I was before my divorce before I knew what it felt like to be cheated on and to have your heart broken in so many ways, to not know not to trust somebody wholy, not to wonder what they really are doing.... to just blindly trust to just love with your whole heart. BUT that you can' t have.... time can not stand still and it can not go back... you only have to go forward and try and heal... and I don' t know how to heal.... no quick solution for that......

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Our expert says:
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Good to hear you have found a new shrink you have confidence in, lets see what her assessment is and what her recommendations are. Remember recreational dugs only supply the fake image of false bliss, never its reality. She will help you to define and work towards healing, and finding more genuine happiness. YOu must find that agenda and methodology working together

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