Posted by: Sandy | 2004/10/31

is waiting better? serious help only please

Hi, I hope that you can help me! I met this great guy about 6 weeks ago.Offically we will be together for 1 month in a few days. The issue is that when I speak to my girl friends and tell them that I've slept over at his place a number of times, but have not had sex yet, they think this is strange. We do play around and cuddle. My mom encourages me to wait as long as possible. I also want to wait till he says: 'I love you' and is sincere about it. The thing is, not being pushy in the bedroom comes more from his side. He is really gentle etc. Does this mean he really cares? How long does it usually take for someone to fall inlove. I have not been in a relationship in a very long time and don't have much experience. Would waiting longer make the relationship last longer. I think I'm already inlove, but I can't tell him that!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hi Sandy, I hadn't seen the press release about your Official 1 Month, but congratulations anyway. Cuddling is absolutely excellent, and well done to have found a guy who is man enough to share the enjoyment of cuddling without expecting instant sex. What's wrong with gentle ? I hear, here, from so many women wanting gentle" and not finding it. There are no rules as to how loong it takes to fall into or out of love. Take your time, and enjoy the journey into love --- you have your whole life to also enjoy the destination.

Oh, and Jackadeejack, I think I have seen a keyboard with blue lights, for sale ! Truly !

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Our users say:
Posted by: Mol | 2004/11/01

Its only the first month so dont rush it. Let it happen naturally..

Reply to Mol
Posted by: bubbles | 2004/11/01

Yes it is worth it...
you dont want to rush into things not to mention fall pregnant by accident (which can easy happen by accident these days) and have a child with him ...then both of you are stuck!

Do you even know if he has had partners before as well... ther eis a lot to think about!

There is really no rush honey...

Reply to bubbles
Posted by: TW | 2004/11/01


You should wait, your body is precious and one shouldnt let it be used in a trashy way. You are a special person and if he loves you TRUST me of course he can wait. Sex isnt everything in a relationship its also about communication, feelings and loads more...why rush into something and regret it.

I was one of the few who actually waited until I was married (which i know is SOOO not the norm these days, I didnt care what others thought) but what an awesome experince being able to pure for the man whom I'll spend them rest of my life with and not have all the baggage attached to me!

Best way to build a relationship is to be open and talk about everything, being honest is definatley the to him about your feelings :)

God bless

Reply to TW
Posted by: Jackadeejack | 2004/10/31

Take it from someone who also knows littlle:
- To fall in love.. for me it takes 2 months... for other ppl, it takes a week.
- When in love.. I dont actually mind about sex.. all I want is the girl, next to me and not feelling alone. Easy as that.
- I am also VERY naive.. I'm sure a salesman could sell me a keyboard with blue lights on it. This is not always bad, but a naive person could get hurt easily <<< Quoted from someone in the forums.

So.. give him a chance. Be open minded and not pushy. I'm sure things will be cool.

Reply to Jackadeejack

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