Our expert says:
To some extent "smothering" is an attitude. WHat you are doing is caring, but apparently for some reason she does not fully appreciate it. Many very sensible people do exactly what you do, and are appreciated for their thoughtfulness. YOu're not nosing into what she's doing, just asking for confirmation that she has arrived safely. Indeed, if she would call or SMS you on safe arrival, there'd be no need for her to bother her at all.
I'd wonder whether this complaint from her suggests more of a problem than appears on the surface, and maybe some ambivalence in the relatonship ? Or perhaps she likes to keep her Work life very separate from her Home life, and doesn't like to have to explain who she is communicating with once she has arrived at work
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