Posted by: Not Capable | 2008/07/03

Is this physical abuse?


A while back my girlfriend and myself were having a really heated argument. She was really getting to me and she knew it and I eventually became so frustrated that I took the cup of tea that she had with her and bust it on the ground. I never physically hurt her but she got quite shocked with my reaction. We eventually managed to sort things out and I went in for counseling. And then just recently we were having another big argument and she started to get a bit physical like throwing punches and stuff at me to get out of my way. I tried to calm her down and she just wouldn't stop. So what I did was not shove her but lightly push her on the bed hoping that she will stay there and talk. I never physically hurt her or anything. Before that I did grab her hands preventing her from walking away, she tried to pull away but because I was still holding her her hands got twisted. I never intend on her getting hurt but with the force she pulled her hands away from me did infact hurt her. She now says that I physically abuse her even though I never ever hit her. Is this really considered abuse?

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Our expert says:
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Not everyone would call this abuse --- and it does sound as though that is not what you intended --- but clearly she experienced it as abusive. Neither of you seems to have behaved well or effectively --- consider seeing a relationship counsellor together to see what you can sort out

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Anon | 2008/07/04

Walk away. Do not touch her. Run Run and Run. Tomorrow she will get a protection order against you and you will be the one that abused her. It will be your word against hers.

I have been there. Run far away as much as you can. Run

Reply to Anon
Posted by: conn23 | 2008/07/04

its not abuse. she accidentaly hurt herself but your fights should not go this far. walk away if you feel you are getting angry.

Reply to conn23
Posted by: ja | 2008/07/03

Shouldn't get this far. Dont corner someone and expect them to stay calm either.
What the hell were you arguing about?!?!?!?!? Stop sleeping with her sister ammit!

Reply to ja
Posted by: sadi | 2008/07/03

Grow up both of you!

Reply to sadi
Posted by: aNNa | 2008/07/03

It is not right for either of you to raise hands to each other. LONG before she gets this worked up simply leave the room or the premises.

It's important to figure out why she is getting this angry. Is she unable to talk to you - are you frustrating her attempts at communication? Does she have a history of raging?

Whatever it is get to the bottom of it and NEVER attempt to deal with it physically EVER unless she is trying to harm a child. If she is getting physical or abusive, simply leave.. you always have the choice to walk away and no-one can get into trouble for that.

Reply to aNNa
Posted by: Ness | 2008/07/03

I will try and remain calm. ... no promises

Yes dear it is abuse. Please don't ever say "even though I never ever hit her" Its the part where I cause an electric shock to your fingers next time you type that.

My ex used to throw me against walls, over couches down stars and he had much the same excuse.

If a person (woman or man) want to walk away then that is there right. If you FORCE them to stay the is ABUSE .... right am now going to have a cup of tea so calm my shattered nerves

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