Posted by: Kelly | 2009/10/12

Is This On?

Hi CS!

I' m not sure what to think.
My bf has a really short temper, I just stay away from him when he is in one of his moods.
In the begining he would shit me out, because he is in a bad mood. Snap at me, just be totally ' according to me'  rude.
He says he has never been rude to me but I like to nag.
Anyways I' ve gotten to know him beter and know when to just back off and give him some time to cool off etc.

No the thing is I have noticed for the little while that I do spend with his family that he is really snappy with his mom.
I was there she asked him to do something for her.He answers with this type of attitude like, just leave me alone I' m busy!
I don' t know it just seems to me the little interaction that I have seen was like he treats her like a little child, Like a nuisance.
I have told him this wknd thats what I think and then he asked me if I' m trying to suck up to my future mother in-law.
We getting married next year.

I know that you judge a guy by the way he treats his mother and thats the way he will treat you.
I don' t really speak to him mom as I kind of don' t really understand what she says most of the time, I just say ' yes'  ' yes'  to most things, Language thing, so not too close to her.

I' m scared that if I get married to him he I will get the same treatment his mom does but then again I won' t know this until I get married to him.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sorry, folks, but as I have to rush to Durban for an emergency, this forum was supposed to have been closed from Noon Monday, and has only been left open by mistake. So it will be extremely difficult for me to respond to all questions before Friday.
I'm not sure of the rule you quote --- some guys are so busy treating their mother superbly, they don't have enough time left to treat their partner as well. Why not see a couples counsellor together and work this all out together with expert help ? If he is snarty to his mom AND to you right now, there's otherwise no chance he'll change after you marry him

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Wise Owl | 2009/10/13

What' s with you girls ? I don' t understand how you allow some bad mannered lout drag you around mentally like this. Putting up with his tantrums and bad mood. I would kick his arse good and proper and MAKE him understand that respect for women is paramount, irrespective of whether you are married, B/F or engaged. The signs your sad sack displays towards his mother is indicative of what you can expect for sure, because you are getting a taste of it now ! I would reconsider this relationship very very seriolusl y. He is NOT going to change in the future, bet on it. Why waste your time ? There are plenty of real men out there who will treat you as you deserve to be treated.

Reply to Wise Owl
Posted by: almost mad | 2009/10/12

It definately seems like a sign of how he will one day treat you. It seems you have allowed him to be short tempered and let him get away with shitting you out. My fiance shits his mother out but she is the worst kind of mother I have ever seen si it doenst really bother me. But at times i see him talk to me like he talkjs to his family and i have put my foot down and told him I wont put up with it. So he has agreed to try to be a better person so we can be happy. His family is aweful, maybe your fbf comes from a nasty family like my fiance. You should ask him.

Reply to almost mad

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