Our expert says:
Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
Hi xXx and thanks for posting here.
It is possible that, in terms of HIV infection, you fall into a category referred to as "high anxiety, low risk". Sometimes our anxiety about HIV can become disabling, with some men even becoming impotent due to their exacerbated fear of being infected with HIV.
This often presents in gay men who don't feel comfortable about sex anyway - they may have a sense of shame or guilt about gay sex, often due to internalised homophobia - or they are prone to anxiety in their every-day lives. Some people who have issues with sex being 'dirty' also attribute their anxiety around sex to their fear of HIV infection
Which is all a huge pity, because you loose the ability to express yourself sexually in a loving, creative or spontaneous way.
Firstly, you need to ensure that you're up to date regarding safer sex. Get the facts and use them to dispel some of your anxiety. Safer sex is very easy.
Secondly, I suggest you consider speaking to a gay counsellor - if you're in or near Cape Town please call Triangle Project on (021) 448 3812 for an appointment - to resolve some of your issues related to anxiety and sex.
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