Posted by: xXx | 2005/12/12

Is this normal

I have been gay since I can remeber and I love it... I have been single for many many moons now (I am currently 25)... the thing is that when ever I have sex with a guy I totaly freak out about HIV... Yes I always have safe sex, but I find myself going for 4 HIV tests and stress myself into taking Prozac every time I do the act. Thus I don't have sex for the next 6months till I repeat the whole story... meaning that I have sex twice a year... and for the rest of the time I stress about getting HIV.... My god, I am NEVER gonna get a man....

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageGay, lesbian and bisexual expert

Hi xXx and thanks for posting here.

It is possible that, in terms of HIV infection, you fall into a category referred to as "high anxiety, low risk". Sometimes our anxiety about HIV can become disabling, with some men even becoming impotent due to their exacerbated fear of being infected with HIV.

This often presents in gay men who don't feel comfortable about sex anyway - they may have a sense of shame or guilt about gay sex, often due to internalised homophobia - or they are prone to anxiety in their every-day lives. Some people who have issues with sex being 'dirty' also attribute their anxiety around sex to their fear of HIV infection

Which is all a huge pity, because you loose the ability to express yourself sexually in a loving, creative or spontaneous way.

Firstly, you need to ensure that you're up to date regarding safer sex. Get the facts and use them to dispel some of your anxiety. Safer sex is very easy.

Secondly, I suggest you consider speaking to a gay counsellor - if you're in or near Cape Town please call Triangle Project on (021) 448 3812 for an appointment - to resolve some of your issues related to anxiety and sex.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Nikki | 2005/12/13

Hi xXx,

It is a subconsious thing and perhaps it is because there are huge HIV awareness everywhere you go. Equally so there are huge awareness campaigns concerning road safety this time of year....

Ask yourself? How does this affect you? Do you restrict traveling because of being made aware of the dangers you will face on our murderous roads? If you feel panic for both situations, HIV and Motor Accidents, then you NEED to find counsilling because you will soon find ourself fearful of LIFE!

If the road safety is not that big an issue (as HIV is with you) then as Dyl says, CHILL .........

Remember from the second you are born, you are at risk of dying, that is life ..... goodluck

Reply to Nikki
Posted by: Dyl | 2005/12/13

Hi xXx,
well its good to see that you worry about about HIV, but taking things to the extreme like you have is not healthy. emagine you take walking across the road to the same extreme, you'll never leave the house again.

take the precautions that you are taking, but you have to enjoy what life has to offer too. have safe fun, like you're doing, go for the test if that makes you feel better, ,but remember one thing, stressing yourself into another blood type won't change the result of any test you take.

i know it's easier said than done, maybe some councelling will help you relax and to take life day by day.....

once again, i'm glad you are very aware of HIV, but chill bud......

have a fantastic silly season, may you have loads of fun in the sun,


Reply to Dyl
Posted by: Tom | 2005/12/12

Yikes - sounds like you're overly stressed about HIV! Where's the Xpert when you need him?

Reply to Tom

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