Posted by: Thandi | 2009/03/02

Is this love

Hi everybody

Please assist me. I met this guy 4 years ago we get together so well he has a 13 yrs old daughter and an adopted child also 13 years. He has paid lobola and we are getting married in December this year, we bought a house which we combined and are staying with these kids I have a 6 months year old son.

I have been watching all these moves but did not tell him he does not give me money I think the reason is that I am working but his kids are number one whenever I want to go he will scream about petrol, yesterday I decided to tell him that he does not treat me right he discusses everything with these kids I also told him that I am nothing in the house these kids are his wife. He got money somewhere and these kids were the first to ask for money for hair but I dont do hair because I have told myself that we need to be busy with the house I dont know whether I am wrong today I felt so gulty because I am not used to this quareling with him and he has changed since yesterday he looks funny he gave me all his money and told me that I must manage it then.

Am I fair with him or am I right or will these kids take me funny but I am furtherup, I even told him that I met him for mistake whenever we are together or with the kids he always call me gogo which is not right when I confront him he just laughs and tell me that I am a gogo.

Yesterday night I sent him to the shop at night and the daughter ran and went with him when they came back you see when people where talking about you. I just looked at them.

Please assist me is this life.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I am puzzled as to what on earth has happened to our usual large number of excellent readers who add their own useful comments on questions like these, which deserve help and support, but are hardly psychiatric ! WHere are you all today ?
I am not an expert on love, bhut I'm sure others could provide useful suggestions here. It sounds good, on the one hand, that he is so devoted to his kids, but it sounds less than clear whether he has room in his life for a genuine man-woman relationship with you in adition to his existing financial and emotional committments. WOuld he be prepared to consider joining you in relationship / couples counselling ?

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