Our expert says:
It is "normal" to get married young, or to get married old, or to never get married. It's normal to have children or not to have children.
"Normal" is very wide.
More intelligent and confident people do what they feel is right, and resist pressure from other more stupid people who have the false belief that they know what you "must" do.
Why on earth are people like parents sometimes obsessed with pushing their children to get married ? Marriage as such isnt especially desirable. A happy mariage certainly is desirable, but so many marriages end up in divorce or married misery.
Its marvellous to have planned children, when you can aford to look after them well and are settled into a happy relationship. But having kids one cant afford, just because stupid other people want you to do so is never a good idea, and unfair to the children.
If your parents got fivorced when you were young, they are hardly experts on happy marriage. And if he abused his wife, he is especially not qualified to advise.
Some of us do indeed learn to be anxious from a young age, but with proper assessment from a psychologist or psychiatrist, and treatment if necessary, we can all learn to handle anxiety better.
I am sure you will eventually be a marvellous mother, above all because you CARE about doing it right. But right now the extent of the anxieties you describe, suggest that it'd be wise for you to see a shrink for an assessment and a discussion of your treatment options, which might include medications ( such as some meds also mused to treat depression ) and some counselling, especially of the CBT form. You could become more relaxed and happy and confident, and more able to enjoy this relationship, and to let it develope into marriage when it suits you and your partner, and not when selfish other people want it to happen
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal
advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.