Our expert says:
More money would be understandably welcome, but it sounds like the committment expected is more than officially recognized, leading to almost 2 jobs for the price of one and a bit. Resist that mirror and cutting option, which you well know will not improve the situation at all, and is likely to complicate it considerably.
Sounds like you find it difficult to accept help from someone else, even when you need it and deserve it. If you envisage a situation such as you describe as being in hospital, where you don't have to care about what others think - that freedom isn't really a characteristic of the hospitalization, and if you could manage to be more relaxed and free there, you could potentially achieve that while going about your ordinary life, as well.
The fact that you never let any of your distress show when you're with kids, shows how much control you can have over this, and you could, then, apply this control to all times and places, too.
I doubt that medication would "solve most of the problem", but it could help. I don't think that seeking proper help would risk your being sent out of the country - the docs you see would have a professional obligation to maintain confidentiality unless you are actually planning major mayhem !
And thank you for being kind to the poor cat - congratulations on having the srength to do so.
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