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Question
Posted by: phellicia | 2004/12/13

is there a love life after having a baby

my baby is now 11 months and i want to know if its advisable to have a relationship with somebody else who is not the baby's father. or will it affect the baby negatively?

i met another guy and fell in love with him, but we dont have a relationship yet, we are friends. i would love to start a relationship with him but im scared and i dont know how it will affect my baby. this guy has got everything that i want in a man. its just unfortunate that he came when im already a single mum. so, what should i do? i think about him all the time and this has been going on for 7 months.

it was my wish to settle down with the baby's natural father, but unfortunately i feel nothing for him. or maybe its because we had a 9 year relationship and now im too used to him?

truly speaking the babys father does not meet my criteria. or should i marry him just because of the baby?

please give suggestions

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dear Phellicia,
There must be love life after having a baby, or ther'd be no second children in any family. Children do thrive better if they are in a stable family, rather than one in which they're never sure which of a number of men might be Daddy. It's not wise to have a baby with someone until you're certain that you love them and vice versa.
It won't much benefit the baby for yuou to enter a loveless marriage. If you think your relationship with the baby's father might work out, why not work in marriage counselling, with him, and see if it's realistic ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: snowy | 2004/12/13

Of course!!! :)

But your baby now comes first and you take second...
And you need to do things that would be in the best interest of your child... how does the father feel about you and the baby?
bec u need to take even see acounsilor about it as its better for the baby to have the father around not a stranger...

Reply to snowy
Posted by: star | 2004/12/13

DOnt marry baby's father just for baby - you'll and the baby will end up un hapy if you dont reallu love him...

I think you need to really sit down and think about your future - it would be best for you and the father to get married and bring your child uptogether...

Also with this other guy - be freinds with him but nothing more than that at the moment - if he is truely something of a guy then he can wait for you AND your child - there shouldnt be a rush...

Going back to the dad - does he love you and want to spend his life with you and the baby - cause that a big thing to consider???

Reply to star

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