Our expert says:
I agree with you that it is vital not to make young children 'diet sensitive' as this can lead to all kinds of problems in later life, including a poor self image and in extreme cases, to eating disorders like anorexia and bulimia. I would strongly recommend that you a) a clinical dietitian (visit the Association for Dietetics in SA Website at: www.adsa.org.za and click on "Find a Dietitian" to find a dietitian in your area), who will firstly assess your daughter and her weight and then work out a slimming diet for her that helps her to lose weight, but still provides all the nutrients she needs for normal growth; b) see a clinical psychologist for some family therapy because your wife seems to have some unresolved conflicts - on the one hand she nags about your child's weight, while on the other hand she sabotages any weight loss attempts.
Hope you get this situation sorted out.
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