Posted by: Confused | 2004/01/16

Is the lashing out really directed to me

I recently broke up with my boyfriend of three years because of continous lying and manipulation from him. He has cheated on me numerous times and I phoned him to day to arrange to come collect the last of my things and he always screams at me and lashes ourt and tells me what a B***** I am when all I have done is honestly tried to love him and give him the best that I have. Is this his way of releasing his anger and hurt or did I really mean nothing for three years?

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Our expert says:
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Dear confused, ]
Of course you did NOT mean nothing ( gee, that's a complex sentence, isn't it ? ) --- you meant a good deal, and he's acting just like the angry little boy who when the games not going the way he likes, sulks and takes his ball hom so as to spoil the game for the others. Of course he's cross --- he's lost a perfect punching bag, someone who gave him all the advantages of having a loving woman in his life, while putting up with and his cruelty and nonsense. quite rightly, he's worried he might not find anyone else who'd put up with him, so easily. Who cares what he wants, or needs, or feels --- he is so obviously unfeeling and uncaring about you, he deserves none of your sympathy or conern. Get on with the good life you deserve, and leave him behind.
If you need to go and collect your things, take a friend and if possible a family member with you, so he won't find it so easy to scream and stamp and perform towards you ; and when you have all your things, change your phone numbers and ignore him completely.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Seh | 2004/01/19

I think you have no respect for yourself.None of us are here to be anyones punching whether you understand the circumstances or not. I t is not an excuse. I think you should really have a long look at yourself as well as your friends issues, are they really a friend worth having? they obviously have no respect for you either

Reply to Seh
Posted by: Squire Cape Town | 2004/01/19

Hi you all,

I been in a similar situation, I have a buddy who blows up at me, and uses me as a punch bag at times, yet, I'm at the "understanding" stage, whereby I dont think its me provoking nor him looking for an easy target. Because we always manage to talk about it after, as to the understanding thereof, and what we could have done differently...

Yet I forsee more to come, but im supportive because I understand the past of this person...

Or am I wrong??

Reply to Squire Cape Town
Posted by: . | 2004/01/16

I also experienced this when my x broke up with me when he cheated on me, not understanding why becos i was good to him always and did not deserve the way he treated me at all while HE was the one that was in the wrong!, what do you think forum?

is it becos of guilt that they reacted this way?

Reply to .

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