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Question
Posted by: galy | 2004/11/30

Is she pregnant?

My fiance and I were separated 2 months ago and now we sorted things out.but as we attend the marriage consi, he has rev that due to him having to be stressed at that time, he was seeing another lady, when we came back from the cons I ask him if he used condoms and he said no but he took this woman for blood test before they had un-protected sex. ( we also went for hiv test when we first dated) i guess that is his style.

I asked about him about if the woman was on any concentra and he said he does not know and this lady told him that she missed her periods.I hate this what if this woman is preg, I am so angry, i even want to cancel the whole thing, i do not want to be emotional disturbed when the baby is there and that he has to be more supportive all the time. we will be having our own kids and the lifestyle is rather expensive out there.

I do not know what to do I am furious.though he has not confirmed that she is preg yet,I love him so much. should I not enter into this marriage or what?

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Our expert says:
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in Marriage counselling ? Do I understand you right ? He was a fool to hav unprotected sex at all ( and a blood test at random does NOT mean that she is not HIV positive or infectious, or that she doesn't have other venereal diseases. Mis-Using HIV tests instead of a condom, is the mark of an ignorant and selfish man. And he didn't bother to find out if she was taking contraceptives ? Even if she is not pregnant ( and it sure sounds as if that is posible ) he has behaved very foolishly and selfishly, and I would be very hesitant about rushing into mariage. Maybe some more marriage counselling is needed ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Shaun | 2004/12/01

Hi Galy,

It may not be my place, but the thing that concerns me here is that he was quite open & straight-forward enough to get a blood-test & the results before sleeping with this woman but yet did not bother to find out or make certain about contraceptives or taking precautions against!?!?!?
I don't know if it is done differently elsewhere but where I'm from, we have to wait at least a minimum of 4 days for the results of blood tests.
I'm sorry but I find this quite confusing & don't really mean to add to your dilemna but I agree very strongly with CS's last 2 statements.

Regards,
Shaun

Reply to Shaun

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