Posted by: Worried MOM | 2004/11/05

Is my daughters disability causing her to be depressed.

Please help.

My 6yr old daughter was born with no fingers on her right hand. She has managed untill now. She will be going to grade 1 next year and I think subcontiously her disability is working on her. She cries allot and for no real reason and has recently started crying in her sleep.

Who can I take her to go see to help her through this. I know she is worried about the children making fun of her. I hate seeing her so down.

Please help.

Many thanks

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

That's possible, thoyugh of course there could be other reasons, too. Sometimes a disability isn't a problem, or even something one realizes until a situation like school arrives, which reveals that you are different from other kids, and that there may be things that might limit your ability to enjoy everything they do.
Does she talk about this to you, or would she, with some encouragement ? Some of her fears might be unrealistic, but you can't reassure her without knowing what they are. Some may be very ealistic, but can be prepared for and coped with.
Let her see a child psychologist or child psychiatrist, who can definitely help her prepare ; and have a word with the headmaster of the school she will be attending, maybe even the person who will be her class teacher, and discuss this problem, so they're prepared to help her cope with it.

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Our users say:
Posted by: M | 2004/11/05

It's normal for kids to be anxious about certain things and in this case it very well could be her disability. You need to start by encouraging her, and there is a huge difference between sympathy, feeling-sorry-for-you and the powerful words of someone who knows that you can still move mountains dispite the challenging given you. She's going to go to a place where there are going to be kids who are going to tease her ... she doesn't need to go into a place like that feeling felt sorry for by her mom, she needs to go into a place like that knowing she's been created beatiful and able to climb the highest mountain, be a champion in everything she does. Maybe you mustn't feel sorry for her, maybe you should tell her that she's going to conquer the world ... and strangly, as I typing this, I feel as though I'm aiming it more towards you than her. Some of the most wonderful things this word has ever seen have been done by people who didn't have the full physical package, but their hearts were twice as big. You may be all your daughter needs to get through this, you don't have to have a Phd, the words of a mother are far more powerful than the words of a stranger.

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