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Question
Posted by: Judith | 2006/11/09

Is Mid-life Crisis in a man a myth

Where do I start.... I have just turned 44, been married for 18 years and two days after my birthday, my husband has asked for a divorce stating that he cannot live in a loveless marriage!!!
He has a history of alcohol abuse, which has lead to sexual impotency. He in totally incompetant with money and has amassed a huge amount of debt.
I know that I should be greatful that he is leaving me, my mind says that it is that right thing to do but but heart seems to be lagging behind. We have a 17 year old daughter and a 14 year old son together.
Just after he told me that he wanted out - he started seeing this 50 year old blonde thing, whom I think is just after drinks, and comes home telling me all the details. I have kicked him out of the bedroom and he is still going out every other night, coming home late and rubbing his new found "love" in my face.
I am really battling to sleep, eat and work - What do I do about his current behaviour...... is this a little mid-life crisis ???

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

A mid-life crisis is allowed, but not compulsory ; one can choose to have a crisis at any age. With his history of alcoholo abuse, financial incompetence and impotence, he's not in a strong position to demand love, and clarly has a host of problems he needs to attend to seriously, for his own sake, as well as for yours and for the sake of the kids. The last think he needs is a 50-year-old blonde ANYTHING. With all those debts, how can he afford the alcohol, let alone the blonde ? Is she aware of his money problems ? Such knowledge might make her lose interest rather rapidly. Could you persuade him to join you in some marriage counselling, eg through FAMSA ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: kat | 2006/11/09

good for you i know it hurts like hell but rather now than later, why didnt he try the stimulant in the past 10 yrs. you are better off this way you need to start loving yourself again.

Reply to kat
Posted by: Judith | 2006/11/09

I kicked him out of the house on Tuesday evening...... Pat - I know that he is impotent as he has been unable to make love to me for the last 10 years (overweight as well) Now he has bought a sexual stimulant to see if he can get aroused - which I seriously doubt.

Thanks for your imput - I don't feel so alone now.

Reply to Judith
Posted by: kat | 2006/11/09

ok even if it is a mid life crisis, what the hell are you doing allowing him to even stay in the same house he wants out kick him out dont be one of those pathetic people who allow him to live with you while you still cook and clean for him and all the rest of it while he lives the life of a married batchelar. how do yo know that he is impotent coz of drinking maybe thats just what he tells you coz he doesnt seem to have a problem with this other lady so if that was true then why would he be so confident about her. loose the looser you and your kids will be better off, he doesnt want to be there anyway his money problems is his problem and you are still young why would you even consider him staying. your heart is behind out of habbit coz you have been together for so long.

Reply to kat

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