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Question
Posted by: MarriedOne | 2005/05/26

is it true

I've been married(in COP) since 99. In 2003 he had an affair(not his first) and she fell preggies. While she was a few mths before delivery he impregnated his ex(he had before the preg one).
we don't have kids together(I've had ectopic pregnancies). The 1st mom is seeking R2500pm for maint. They're gonna take it to the court. if it gets to that how is it gonna work? are they gonna look at our monthly household income and decide to give the woman her R2500 or they're only gonna look at his nett alone and realise he can't afford R2500? I've got my kid from prev relationship who stays at my parents house.So this woman claims that we are not raising any kids together so we are in a position to maintain her child. what am I supposed to do, please.

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Our expert says:
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Not my field of expertise, but even the silliest Court can't think it useful to award more than he can afford to pay, and they must recognize that though he apparently hasn't the faintest idea about contraception, he may also need to provide something for his Ex and her baby, and for you. And talk with a lawyer, maybe at a law clinic-- it might be wise to divorce him so you are not liable for his sewing of the seed, and you may be able to apply to the court for some alimony, too.

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Our users say:
Posted by: secret | 2005/05/27

My husband also had a child from a prev relationship and this woman also claimed R2500 from him when she had that we were staying together. She does not know that we got married and we kept that under wraps . Funny enough , the people in these maintannance courts do not seem to do any investigations. They could not even pick it up that we are married. Like hell , I was;nt prepared to finance his kids, his kids must be how own responsibility ( finish and klaar ) Moreover I earn far more than he does , so I would have been in deep shit . I also have son from a prev relationship who lives with us. Told myself that my son wont fall short of anything because I decided to get married to someone who has a child. dont know how long it could take before they find out but I doubt it . If there was a woman who claimed 4 maintannances on 4 different men and they took forever to figure it out , why the hell would they have time to verify people's marital statuses ?

Reply to secret
Posted by: Married lady | 2005/05/27

I dont like divorce at all but im sorry this man is terrrible -

HOW ON EARTH CAN HE TREAT YOU LIKE THIS!!!
You need to get out NOW for you own sake PLEASE this is so unheatlhy for you to have to live like this. HE doesnt love you and even if he says he does that is utter trash... cheating is no excuse...

Pls start reseasching your options here before you to fall victim and get involved with the mess he created!!!!!

Reply to Married lady
Posted by: Liza | 2005/05/27

Since a maintenance claim can take some time, and you can be divorce from him within the next 6 weeks, I would say that it would definitely be an option to consider. Once you're divorced, they can no longer claim a cent from you.

Reply to Liza
Posted by: MarriedOne | 2005/05/27

Thanks for the advice, but will it help if I initiTE divorce now and these claims have been started in January? is there a way of getting out of it completely, without loosing my money to this woman and soon enough to the next one too?

Reply to MarriedOne
Posted by: Deubel | 2005/05/26

What a dilemma!

Your husband cannot financially or morally afford to f**k around, yet he is doing it left right and centre. If you are married in COP the other moms can claim maintenance from your jointly income.

Why would you stay with such an unfaithful man? Divorce him and let him pay his dues. Use your own money for yourself and your kid. This man is going to destroy both you and your kid fiancially and emotionally. Best you can do is to divorce this man as quickly as possible. You have more than enough reason for the courts.

Reply to Deubel
Posted by: koki | 2005/05/26

u know wht, leave him

Reply to koki

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