Posted by: jerk | 2008/06/24

is it too much to ask

I know you are going to think i am a jerk after reading this...

i have a tiny problem---i dont like ot be with my girlfried when i am broke, last of last week she called me to tell me that she would like to visit me over the holidays, i said normally i would not mind but i am broke at the moment, so i cannot afford to be with you for a long period of time, so we agreed it was going to be for a week....

she knows i am broke and she also know what i spent my money on,---last month it was her birthday so i bought her a bunch of presents--and my brother started working so i had to help him to get settled you know the usuall--buying beds, blankets and atleast the first grocery..i am temporarily broke it happens this is south africa right----

a week past we were still together and i did not say nothing cause i did not want to be seen as getting rid of her...and out of the blue she was needed at her school[ by the way she is doing her final year] so she went back and i was like hoooch what a relief, she calls again the same day saying she is coming back notice i am not really inthusiastic about this, i mean the truth is [ i have no money to buy food for myself this month, let alone somebody else...look i know she is my gf and i love but i cannot be with her when i am unable to support myself.

she knows, i am unhappy about the situation--i dont mean to be a jerk but is it too much to ask one's partner to stay away just for a month...i mean we have the whole life time ahead of us, what good is to be sitting broke and hungry in the name of love...

i need my space when i am like this- so i can think my way forward guys is this too much to ask.....

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If you're usually running so close to broke, maybe you should not buy her "a bunch of presents" --- love should not be about money or gifts. And if she knows finances are a big problem for you, she should not come to stay with you without sharing the expenses, for food, even help with rent. YOu are not a jerk for expecting her to be sensitive and sensible about this. Tell her clearly just how you feel.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Phontie | 2008/06/25

hi all
Thank you CB to Jerk & Orie what are going to do when there is no more income?

Reply to Phontie
Posted by: Jerk | 2008/06/25

thanks a lot Orie,

Reply to Jerk
Posted by: Orie | 2008/06/24

Jerk I understand your frustration . Money issues are frustrating enough let alone having no food . The last thing you need is someone to be there. I know the feeling and would prefer to suffer alone . I even hate it when someone comes to visit even for a few hours when I know I dont have food or money . It just adds on your stress . Now you have to worry about what you're going to offer this person. I think its so cute of you to think this way. Honestly you have enough problems on your own and your gf will be putting further strain on you and not being able to provide for her does not go down well with you . Tell her that you're struggling as is , cant even look after yourself . Tell her to postpone and come the following month . Unless she has an alternative ( ie to buy food for the time being ) Your concerns are reasonable . I also hate it when my sister wants to come visit and I'm broke! Malow's hierachy of needs :Biological needs first , food , then love and affection follows later on Phontie !

Reply to Orie
Posted by: Phontie | 2008/06/24

Yes you are a "jerk "you problem here is food sis man the woman loves, what you do is to complain about food that is not Enough or in other word you want to tell us that she eat a lot mmmmmmmmmm usile yo

Reply to Phontie
Posted by: :) | 2008/06/24

hey dude, dont worry to much, i kinda know how you feel.

tell her how you feel, tell her what you just told us.
if she still wants to stay with then you know you have good girl that will stay with you even with no money.

if she leave then you got what you wanted and you can see her again when oyu have cash.

just talk to her about it bro

Reply to :)

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