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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2007/05/22

Is it time

By bf and I live together and we always have the same argument over and over. I want him to take me places he doesnt want to, when he comes home I want him to sit and talk to me and he is not interested, we then end up in a screaming match and I always walk out. Its been 2 days since we last spoke to each other and this is the first time that this has happened, after one day we are back to normal. He doesnt even eat the food I cooked. Yesterday he wasnt going to work and he didnt even tell me. I hurt my back and he doesnt even care. I've realised that things wont go back to normal and I just need to accept that. In your opinion is it time to break up and rather move on with my own life. I dont think that its healthy to be in a relationship where you cant even stand the next person.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It sounds as though you are fond, not of your actual bf, but of the man you want to turn him into. You want him to behave in ways he doesn't naturally behave. You don't describe and "normal" to get back to --- you're not talking about him having changed, but of him not being naturally the way you want him to be. Wouldn't you both be better off if you moved on ? Never base a relationship on the expectation that the person has to become something they're not already

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anon | 2007/05/22

No he has even replied to the SMS. I spoke to his mom today and she says that he is stressed. I guess then that he agrees with everything that was said in the sms. I'm not sure I will have to see this evening what happens/

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Anon | 2007/05/22

No he has even replied to the SMS. I spoke to his mom today and she says that he is stressed. I guess then that he agrees with everything that was said in the sms. I'm not sure I will have to see this evening what happens/

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Polly | 2007/05/22

Has he contacted you yet?

Reply to Polly
Posted by: Anon | 2007/05/22

I'm dying inside but I have to concentrate on my job and thank God I'm very busy at the moment, but I pray he is not at home when I get there so that I can start the packing etc. I think when I see him I'll probably start crying but I just have to remember the bad times and not the good.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Polly | 2007/05/22

I admire you for doing this. I was devastated when I did the same thing. I had to go home because I was crying like a baby. You are a very strong woman.


Reply to Polly
Posted by: Anon | 2007/05/22

I know that it was a cowardice thing to do but I just broke up with him on SMS and he didnt reply so I guess this is it. Its hard to concentrate on work, but I'll be okay. I've asked them boxes at work so that I can go and pack this evening. Its hard but I needed to do this.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Polly | 2007/05/22

Are you okay, girl? I am so sorry for your loss. I am still licking my wounds, I know, it is not a lekker feeling.

He will most probably be shocked when he sees the letter and call you. Just keep your chin up.


Reply to Polly
Posted by: Anon | 2007/05/22

Hey Polly,

I've just found a place to stay and have decided to move out this weekend, even though we were supposed to have a party for our daughter (she will be 1 on saturday) at least the invitations didnt go out. I'll write him a letter and tell him what is happening and leave it on his bed. I dont think that he will even notice that I'm gone, which is sad but at least we get to go on with our own lives.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Polly | 2007/05/22

It is very difficult, I know, because I have been there recently. It is the most awful feeling to feel unwanted. It is very frustrating and to keep your sanity it might be better for you to move on. You don't want to stay with a guy that isn't interested in you emotionally. It happens that people fall OUT of love and you can't force him to be interested in you. Maybe if you walk away, he will realize his mistake (well, it didn't work for me, but maybe it will for you).

Good luck. Keep my posted on what is happening, ok.

Reply to Polly
Posted by: Anon | 2007/05/22

I've tried to sit him down and talk to me instead he ends up screaming at me. I told him that we are adults and besides there is other people in the house but he persists in raising his voice. On Sunday I left the house at 6 and came back at 1am and he didnt even care. I sat him down on Sunday and told him that he was away Friday, Saturday and the entire day on Sunday and that I just wanted to sit and talk to him because I missed him, instead he was more interested on watching wrestling on TV. I think our relationship consists only of sex, because there is nothing else. And the more I'm thinking about it the more I think its better to let things go.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Polly | 2007/05/22

He is being very childish. Why not sit him down and ask him what he wants: if he still wants to be with you? I know that he doesn't want to sit and talk, but this is a very important issue that needs to be discussed.

Reply to Polly
Posted by: RMC | 2007/05/22

Do you want to spend the rest of your life like this as he is likely to only become more complacent after/if you marry. Surely you deserve more than that? I know couples have different interests but surely you should at least enjoy doing some things together?

Reply to RMC

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