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Question
Posted by: Tabby | 2005/12/02

Is it right

Is it right for a friend of my husband (who happens to be a girl that he spins with) to sms him occationally? Should I send her a sms asking her to stop smsing him out of respect for me and our marriage? Advice please!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Surely it depends entirely on what the SMS's say ? If they're trivial, they're a waste of money byt hardly a threat. If they're profound declarations of passion, then obviously they have to be stopped

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Our users say:
Posted by: Boermeisie | 2005/12/02

And also put your husband in place as well. You might tell her to stop but your husband might not.

Reply to Boermeisie
Posted by: Dove | 2005/12/02

Yes put her in her place now before she gets her claws into him

Reply to Dove
Posted by: Tabby | 2005/12/02

I agree that married men are allowed to have female friends, but they should be shared friends (between husband and wife). I would never dream of smsing a married man, even if the man was a friend of mine. To me it is not right.
She's not really a threat to me, but they do spend time together when they are training for cycling events and she's even wanted to start running with him. He said that he would not agree to this as he sees it as wrong as well because it would be just the two of them alone. I just want him to realise that he is putting unnecessary strain on our marriage. He does leave the sms's on his phone for me to see. I also want him to avaoid a situation that might turn into more than friendship. She's only 21, very naive and he is 30. Should I sms her?

Reply to Tabby
Posted by: Yellow | 2005/12/02

Once two people get married they have to protect that marriage. Men and woman dont just stay friends nature intended them to seek mates, so feelings eventually start no matter how platonic they claim it is.

Reply to Yellow
Posted by: Friend | 2005/12/02

My first marriage was broken up by a so-called platonic female friend. Out of my own experience, this kind of friendship can be dangerous and can easily get out of hand.

Reply to Friend
Posted by: Shakira | 2005/12/02

But surely men (even if married) are allowed to have female friends? What is the nature of the sms's Tabby?
If its just a "Hi, how you?" , then that shouldnt count as a threat to your marriage. Maybe explain the circumstances thats causing you to see her as a threat to us..?

Reply to Shakira
Posted by: Friend | 2005/12/02

Yes, it is wrong. She should leave him alone, he's married. Send a sms from his phone asking her to leave him alone and tell your husband you did it. He'll be cross with you, but he'll and she'll get the message. This is how affairs start, believe me, I know.

Reply to Friend
Posted by: CP Mom | 2005/12/02

Why do we always want to go for the other person? Your husband should put a stop to this or you tell him you will put a stop to him and your marriage!

Reply to CP Mom

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