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Question
Posted by: Whooz | 2007/04/18

Is it possible CS???

I would like to know if it's possible at all to change an 8 year old child's personality?

She has a bad character and no manners, the manners I can deal with, cause I'm teaching her decent ones, but she makes horrible discusting noises for a girl, and pulls her face and acts very aggresive towards her friends. She has nice manners with her mother, but she treats me - the stepmom - like s&^&*t. She does have big issues cause she has been through a lot of emotional abuse with her mom, but how do I treat the problem.

At our house she's ok, but I picked this behaviour up when I waited for her at school and she didn't see me and I actually saw how horrible she is to other kids. To be honest, I don't like her either because of who and what she is!!! I want to like her, but she makes it impossible. We have been to social workers and local shrinks, but the theraphy they suggested only lasted a couple of months and is incredibly childish and the kids think that it's a game. THIS IS NO LONGER A GAME, I'M GETTING SICK OF THIS GIRLS BEHAVIOUR. Pls advise?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It sounds as though a thorough assessment by a good local child shrink would be wise, and they should be able to advise properly on how she could be encouraged to change, Problems arising after a child has been abused by her mom are complex and need clever intervention --- it sounds as though the people you have consulted before weren't quite up to the task ? When you discuss this frankly with her --- about how you care about her, know that she CAN behave well and be pleasant and liked, and how you worry when you see how unpleasantly she behaves with others and under some circumstances --- what does she say ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Whooz | 2007/04/18

She makes me feel worse cause she starts crying and all she can say is... I don't know. Dit maak my moedeloos!!! I'm to scared to say this but it's almost as if she's spiteful towards me. She doesn't have any reason to be because she's just angry at her circumstances. I want to get rid of the bad/ negative way she treats me, and be a good friend to her. But she doesn't want to and then I become childish about it!! Lauging at myself....

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