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Question
Posted by: Sam | 2005/12/05

Is it over

My husband has had an affair on and off with the same woman for 6 years, they somehow keep on getting back together. We are now in the process of getting a divorce. He did the papers in June but stopped them and then I went last week and asked them to serve me because he keeps using it as blackmail. He seems to really want a divorce and I am so angry coz it should be me wanting it not him. Why after all the messing around that he does, do I still love and want this man. I think I am mad but I just cant let go. Please what should I do.

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Our expert says:
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I wonder on what grounds HE, the unfaithful one, is seking divorce ? He certainly doesn't sound like anyone you need to have in your lofe. let him go, and be glad to be rid of him. Why not have your own lawyer serve him, promptly ? Jay seems to have the details right Make absolutely sure that you get good legal advice asap

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Our users say:
Posted by: JAY | 2005/12/05

Consider this unofficial advice : if YOU serve the papers, you get to ask for the necessary relief by way of the prayers contained in the statement of claim (i.e. divorce particulars).

If there's something you're asking for that he doesn't like (i.e. too much maintenance for kids/yourself, access to the kids, paying school fees) HE is the stupid twit who needs to pay a divorce attorney to contest what you've asked for. If he doesn't contest it, the Judge will grant the decree of divorce upon the grounds contained in your particulars.

I strongly suggest you initiate this and thereby avoid more legal costs than you may have bargained for... or worse, are able to afford.

If you are married in community of property you should maybe also ask for an entry to be made with the firm where his pension fund lies.... you are quite entitled to request that 50% thereof come to you upon pay-out. Even if you are married with the inclusion of the accrual system, you still are entitled to get some dosh back. Speak to an attorney about this.

If they want to screw around, best they consider the emotional consequences and financial drawbacks associated therewith.

BEST OF LUCK!

Reply to JAY
Posted by: Alert | 2005/12/05

Sorry about this, I think your marriage is over, it is you now who must make sure the divorce proceeds. Good luck. God will take care of you as he always does.

Reply to Alert
Posted by: CP Mom | 2005/12/05

Go and see your own attorney and have him served asap!

Reply to CP Mom

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