Posted by: bbbbbbbb | 2004/11/04

Is it okay???<br>Is it okay?????

I just want to know if it is fine to have an abortion if you are raped??? Although the bible condems this?

I'm really confused?

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Our expert says:
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As Foxy says, even most of the people who are opposed to abortion under other circumstances, accept it as a valid choice in the case of rape. But do seek propeer counselling to help you through this difficult time of coping with the aftermath of rape, the decision, and after the decision.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: rainbow | 2004/11/04

May you all go home and have a stunning HAPPY evening and remember that tomorrow is

God bless all

Reply to rainbow
Posted by: Kernel | 2004/11/04

To Lee

You obviously know nothing about rapists. Rapists could come from the best of families, with the best upbringing and all the love you could ask for.

It is in one's genes - it is hereditary.

Reply to Kernel
Posted by: D nice | 2004/11/04

This site is unbelievable, you will think is a bloody competition or something.Do you know how it feel like to be raped and at the end of the day finding out that you are pregnant with a rapist child?

Reply to D nice
Posted by: ,,,,, | 2004/11/04


Reply to ,,,,,
Posted by: Lucia | 2004/11/04

Kernel and D nice - give it up - there will always be those who judge others. bbbbbbb got her comments and she will decide for herself henceforth - at least she can now make a more calculated decision. Thanks for your valuable inputs.

Reply to Lucia
Posted by: Lee | 2004/11/04

yes kernel...Do you want to tell me that a rapist is a rapist because he picked it up from his parents???

rapists often come from broken unhappy families and they arent taught what is right ir wrong from an early stage that swhat leads them to steal, murder and yes even rape bec they dont find love at home they think they can forcefully do things..

Do back to bbbbb who has the problem.... not about us its about her question :)

Reply to Lee
Posted by: D nice | 2004/11/04

Listen I can have an opnion if i want to ... thats whats this place is about and if you dont like it thats your problem...

Please go read the TO: cyber shrink readers listing....

Reply to D nice
Posted by: Kernel | 2004/11/04

To Lee

Now for your second statement: "a child is raise according to its parent and will pick up on the parents ways..."

Do you want to tell me that a rapist is a rapist because he picked it up from his parents???

Stick to what you know and be careful making statements such as in your first posting - or provide statictics of proven research.

Reply to Kernel
Posted by: D nice | 2004/11/04

To Golly
Please don't try and say things like abortion is a sin, unless you have been in that situation.At the moment all everybody is doing is speculating and judging,God this and God that.At the end of the day bbbbb will end up dealing with what decision she decide to make alone.

Reply to D nice
Posted by: golly | 2004/11/04

you galz get quite tense on these sites now!!! hold your horses there Lucia...

anyways im talking to bbbbb the person that is wanting some answers not people fighting...

i think honey you need to see a good christian counsiler and unload all those feelings beofre you say you are wanitng an abortion... I do feel that its is a sin as its killing another as it says in the bible... so make sure oyu choose the right option as once its done no turning back.

Remember God is with you though out this and pray and talk to him allow him to guide you in this :)

God bless

Reply to golly
Posted by: Lucia | 2004/11/04

To Lee
Hi - sorry maybe you didn't understand. The WOMAN (now aged 36) I was referring to went for councelling from the age of 14 and still hasn't come to terms with it (36 minus 14 = 22 years later). Initially the policewoman that was involved in her case referred her to a terrific child councellor who helped a lot. At the age of 19, she tought she could do without councelling and stopped for 6 months - during that time she tried committing suicide twice. She has ever since been receiving councelling on regular basis. Sometime she can go without for a few months but she always ends up having to go back. Just an example of how devastating such an issue can be. Women in these situations are given options on how to deal with the situation - all I am saying is that we should resepct their wishes whatever they eventually decide to do.

Just as an after thought - imagine going through a pregnancy with people asking you endless questions such as "and is the father very exited too", "how long have you been trying" and "do you think the baby will look like you or daddy" etc, etc. and having to answer "I don't have a clue because I was raped and do not know the father at all". Or even worse "mom - who's my real father?" "Oh he's a rapist my dear, but don't you worry, I had him locked up for a couple of years for making me pregnant with you". But then again, there is the option of going through 9 months of pregnancy, looking at scans, going through the birth process and then giving the child away. I don't know which is worse - keeping the baby or giving it away.

At the end of the day it is this persons choice and nobody should point fingers at her. I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks, I had a bad fall and lost my baby. Did I murder my child or did I kill it accidentally - I wore high heel shoes ? Since you guys can judge others, why don't you give me the verdict?

Reply to Lucia
Posted by: Lee | 2004/11/04

not a nerve - just get frustrated when people post stupid things thats all...

Reply to Lee
Posted by: Kernel | 2004/11/04

Hi Lee

Looks like I have struck a nerve.

Don't let it unsettle you. I presume you have prove that it is not hereditary - besides I said it was only a possibility. I would not bet my life on the odds though.

Reply to Kernel
Posted by: D nice | 2004/11/04

I was 14 going on 15 when a man who is my fathers' age and who is a friend of my family forced himself on me.Bear in mind i did not know what he was doing was called rape but all knew was it was uncomfortable and and painful, he knew what he wanted and went for it,you see i trusted him as a matter of fact my whole family trusted him and this sexual act did not just happen once, it happened so much that i lost count, i never told any body the first time, nor did i say anything every time he did that, believe me when i say i have never cried about it even realising what he took from me and even if i said something to my parents then they won't have believed me but the worse happened i fell pregnant without actually knowing it but you see the thing is this guy was clever, he is an educated guy he knew my cycle well and he knew i was missing my period and by the time i realise i was pregnant i was almost 3 months along, and of course all you guys can guess what happen next, he didn't want anyone knowing what was up so he took me to a private doctor to have it terminated.When i was growing up sex,pregnancy in your teens was a taboo, my parents would have killed me and my mother in particular would have been bitterly disappointed in me, through all this nobody notice and through all his abuse he kept on telling me loved me and i think part of believed him that this,this the way love was suppose to be.Now am 25, deep down i don't really believe in love and trust in men that's another story.Once in a while i do wonder how my life would have been with a child born out of that situation and i must honstly say that i have no regrets and by the way is been 9 years 9 months since i last saw the man who did all this to me.Personally if i had that baby i would have hated it and most of all hated myself and no i have not said anything to my parents, the only person who knows the truth is my boyfriend which i have known for 5 years.

I hope this helps you bbbbbbbb and in the long run you do what is good for you not what other people think will be good for you.

Reply to D nice
Posted by: lee | 2004/11/04

WHAT RUBBISH - posted by Kernel, saying that heredity and the child you raise would be a rapist one day. WHATEVER!!!

a child is raise according to its parent and will pick up on the parents ways...

and Lucia... of course this child is going to be a emotional wreck she was raped as a child and properly never went for proper counsilling...

bbbbb - you need too think about things as you will be killing a life inside of you which is murder at the end of the day ... thou shalt not kill... thats plain and simple, wether its a man or a baby that is life my friend...

Reply to lee
Posted by: Lucia | 2004/11/04

Hi bbbbbbb

Just clear up one thing for me - where in the bible (and I mean I want the exact book and verse numbers) does it state that "you will sin or be condemned forever if you have an abortion after you have been raped" ? Remeber - people interpret the bible the way they want to.

I have a friend (36 years old now) who was raped when she was only 14. Her parents would not send her for an abortion - the baby was adopted. Due to this, this woman has been and still is a total emotional wreck. She will never be able to cope without medication or councelling. She has told me on numerous occasions that should she have had a choice, she would not have hesitated to have an abortion because she might have been spared all this heartache.

Nobody can tell a person in that position what to do - the decision is ultimately theirs and I feel that others should respect their decision.

Reply to Lucia
Posted by: Snooks | 2004/11/04

One question....she didn't say at all that SHE was raped??? ;-)

Reply to Snooks
Posted by: Kernel | 2004/11/04

I tend to agree with Foxy. The rape was forced on you and you did not ask for your genes to be mixed with those of a rapist - for all you know it is heredity and the child you raise would be a rapist one day.

Also think about the moral and emotional issues - how could you love a child brough onto you by a criminal act of lust and power? There was no love involved and the child will always remind you of the rapist.

The bible also says you should not marry a non-believer, and that implies you should not have children from a non-believer. Do you want a child from the devil himself?

Reply to Kernel
Posted by: news | 2004/11/04

Cape Town - Twenty-four percent of urban-dwelling South Africans are in favour of abortion on demand, a market research company said on Thursday.

Research Surveys said in a statement they had surveyed a sample of 500 adult South Africans living in metropolitan areas and with access to a landline telephone.

The company said the issue was clearly one where people held strong views, with only 3% saying they "don't know", although this rose to 11% among Indians.

The telephone study revealed a strong correlation with wealth on the issue, with only 18% in favour in households earning less than R6 000 a month.

Agreement rose to just over 40% among people in households earning over R15 000 a month.

Gender differences were minimal, but different population groups gave different responses, with 30% of Indians agreeing, whites 31%, Africans 20% and coloureds 16%.

The study found no differences by city, or "perhaps surprisingly", by marital status.

When those who said "no" or "don't know" to abortion on demand were asked "What if a woman was raped and fell pregnant?" 65% of these people agreed that abortion would then become justified.

This made a total of 73% of people agreeing that abortion would be justified in certain circumstances.

Approval of abortion in extreme circumstance was more likely from those aged 35 and older, and those in the middle income brackets of between R3 500 and R15 000.

Seventy percent of women who had said "no" to the abortion on demand question now agreed, compared to 59% of men.

Whites were also more likely to agree at 74%.

Respondents were also asked if nurses should be allowed to perform abortions.

A proposal that specially trained nurses will be permitted to perform abortions without a doctor's assistance was approved by the National Assembly, but has not yet been passed by the National Council of Provinces.

Fourteen percent of people in the sample felt that nurses should be allowed to perform abortions.

People in households earning more than R10 000 were more likely to feel this was acceptable at 22%, while Indians, at 25%ent, were the most accepting.

"Even more controversial is that, even amongst those in favour of abortion on demand, only a third are in favour of nurses being allowed to perform them without a doctor's assistance. This drops to 21% amongst females, the people most affected," read the statement.

Edited by Tisha Steyn

Reply to news
Posted by: sue | 2004/11/04

Know that you are a special and beautiful person and im sorry to hear you what happend to you it not right or fair.

you can get through this and move on in life you just need to really think and not rush into anything yet as it is a life you are thinking of ending... and once doen you can never go back...

The guilt is so awful to deal with it will start to eat away at you.

Reply to sue
Posted by: joe joe | 2004/11/04

Dont do it!

I also dont agree with FOXY - if you have a hiv child or deformed child besides rape its not right to do that...

What if you were a child from rape or were deformed and your mother decided to kill you through abortion (the easy way) you would never have been here - you are here for a reason

You have this baby for a reason too. pls dont destroy this precious baby.
yes its from rape...
yes its a time of confusion..
yes you are hurting and feel like life is just given up on you...

but you can get through this - seek help before killing this innocent one.

Reply to joe joe
Posted by: bubbles | 2004/11/04

NO... listen rape is a very serious and sad crime dont get me wrong but there is a precious little life inside of you that is innocent in all of this!

You need to work through all those feelings of rape in order to be able to move on in life anyways... If you believe in the bilble saying it is wrong then do NOT abort this child. Remember everything happends for a reason in this world some good some bad and this innocent child is now growing and doesnt deserve to be punnished. Its darn right MURDER...

If you dont want the child give it up for adoptin but give this baby a chance to live life...

It is a terrible time in your life, but you can get thorough this and past all the pain you are experiencing...God is there every step of the way to help you through this... trust him and what he has planned for your life ...even though at times we cant see why or what the outcome is he knows and he will be there fro you.

Pls dont make any rushed decisions about this cause it is a living life you are cosidering ending (God gives us life we shouldnt be the ones deciding to end life ect) Its just unfortunate the way the worlld is going with such sin, death and war ... you will always wonder what if >>>what is this child is to play a special part in this world....

I pray you make the right decision and rmember you arent alone in this!!!

Reply to bubbles
Posted by: Foxy | 2004/11/04

I am really against abortion, EXCEPT when you got pregnant because of Rape or there is something really really wrong with the baby, like deformed or has HIV. But then again that is my opinion and everybody has their own right to choose

Reply to Foxy

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