Posted by: Stranger | 2010/05/16

Is it ok to date when you busy divorcing ????

My husband and i have been seperated for 1 1/2yrs and are now in the process of divorce. Obviously there is disagreement with regards to settelement. I have found out that he is seeing some girls and even introduced our 13yr old daughter to one girlfriend. Yet he is constantly swearing at me for being a cheater (not true by the way), and that i want to divorce him becoz i want other men.
My friends advised that i should let the attorney know about his girlfriends which will make my case stronger.

Is this true? I am currently living with my parents and he stays in our family house and he rents out our second house. I receive no maintenance or share of the rental... wht should i do?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageDivorce support expert

Hi stranger,

Is it ok to date when busy divorcing? well, it all depend what is acceptable to you or not, but whether it'll make your case stronger, I doubt it. There are no laws against it. You've been separated for 1 and 1/2 yr which shows that you are clearly both moving on and your "husband's" private life has nothing to do with you nor yours, his. However what needs to be taken into consideration is that you have a 13 yr old daughter whose needs and wellbeing need to be put first.
SADSA advises divorcing parents to first try mediation before going to a lawyer, but if the process is already happening keep your focus on your child and what is best for her in this process. There is nothing wrong for your daughter to meet her dad's girlfriend. Hopefully her father will know when an encounter is suitable and trust your daughter to make her own judgment.
You may both want to consider some co-parenting coaching to assist you in developing a healthy co-parental relationship.
As for the settlement and maintenance, all of this should be considered maturely as you go on with the divorce and depending on the custody arrangements. If you have your daughter most of the time, it is normal that her father contributes financially to her financial needs and you if you were married in community of property you definitely are entitled to your share of the house and the rental.

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