Posted by: S | 2004/11/09

Is it normal

I'm 16 and have been in a relationship with my former best friend for 9 months. We are so right together and have been sleeping together for 7 months now. But a month ago, he got drunk with some friends and kissed a family friend who was also drunk. Not just a little kiss. Like rolling around on the bed, making out and touching legs and breasts etc. he only came to his senses when she attemped to put her hand down his pants.
Now he phoned me crying straight after, telling me how sorry he was and how his mind wasn't doing what his body was, and I forgave him after a weekend of tears becsue I know what alcohol does to the mind.
But everyone says I let him off, and he got away with murder etc. They think I let him walk all over me and he'll do it again. I don't. I trust him even more now becasue he made his mistake and no longer drinks or puts himself into situations that might end up like that one. Am i being stupid? Or can we really never get over this?

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Our expert says:
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Young people do stupid things ( indeed, so do older people ) ; and drunk people do stupid things, too. I don't see any special need to make a huge fuss out of this event, especially as he felt sorry and apologised afterwards, and stopped things from going too far. And if he is going so far as to avoid drinking or getting into the possibility of such situations, he's going far beyond what most men would do for you. Why be harsh and vengeful ? SOunds like some of the "everyone" who are encouraging you to do that, may have their own motives mixed up in this.
Don't let "everyone"stick their noses itno your private lives, unless you specificallyneed and ask for their advice.

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Our users say:
Posted by: S | 2004/11/10

thankyou to everyone who replied to my message. i showed your replies to my bf and now we're sure that we're not hanging onto a dead relationship, but moving onto better things as a couple. thankyou

Reply to S
Posted by: Shaun | 2004/11/10

Hi S,

I agree with Paris, I also think you handled it quite maturely.

& I also agree with Bull that it becomes more difficult to handle when "everyone" knows, coz their opinions tend to affect your judgement & choice.


Reply to Shaun
Posted by: Bull | 2004/11/10

Why does everyone know? Try to keep your personal life private because so much relationships brake up because of other peoples sayings.

I think you must give him another chance. He did come clean and he apoligised and you can see he's trying, so why not?

Good luck.

Reply to Bull
Posted by: PARIS | 2004/11/09

Hi there,

I think you handeling this with the utmost maturity. Alot of people much older than you would never be able to get over this (me included). But you are strong, and only you know what your relationship means to yourself and your partner.

I think it is very possible to fogive some one, and by the sounds of it, he sounds like a very honest chap who genuenly regrets what he did. He could have kept this from you, but he never. He knew there could be consequences to his actions, but still told you.

Put what ever other people have said aside. Every body deals with situations differently.

You are choosing to trust him, and do just that. People make mistakes, and people learn to forgive.

I hope what i have said makes sense.

I wish you and your boyfriend the best of luck.


Reply to PARIS

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