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Question
Posted by: doris day | 2007/07/12

Is it norm for a sister to be jealous?

My 29yr old sister is threathend by me to the point where i think she hates me. I'm 27 It started when she came back last yr from london after 4yrs.

We used to have this rivalry when we were little cos she was the bees knees & i was always told to be like her but i did the opposite to spite my folks.

I have always like nice things & its obviously costly so i chose a career in finance so i could afford those nice things.

I work hard & like buying nice things like diamonds & recently spoiled myself to a mini cooper s my dream car. My sister always shoots it down as mediocre like she can do better & the fact that she sneaked & looked at my payslip to see how much i earn pissed her off she sulked for days.

I try to be the bigger person all the time but its really hard with her attitude it seems like she's never grown up from the time we were 12 to now in fact i find it appauling at how selfish she is with other people as well.

SHe had no money when she came back confided this to me as a plea to help her find a job. i gave her my other "ugly cell" according to her to use for however long she wanted to - gave her carte blanche to my wardrobe & still do.

The thing that gets me is she still sponges cos when she had nothing i paid for everything without expecting any I O U's
Now she never has cash i land up paying for costly meals with no thanks or "i'll pay u back" Constantly makes calls from my phone cos she doesn't have airtime on hers or her battery is flat.
I trek her to work & back despite being late every single day at my work. She doesn't even offer to contribute petrol? Yet when my brother offered to take her to work she was like " if you take me i will pay YOU!" so she has a problem paying me?
i am soo fed up cos she latches herself on to me i can't do anything on my own. I f i go to the mall with a friend during lunch she says i'm being sneaky cos i want to check out the best things first? But the cherry on the cake is when she does not complement anything i buy & show her if i don't show then i'm being funny. My dad had to tell her to congratulate me on my car?

My parents are not much help cos they don't want to take sides . to be honest i wish she never came back.Is this normal at her age to carry on like this she has a huge difficulty with girls her age to give complements or admitt they better.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

How terribly materialist you both sound ! Do you really have to pay so much attention to the nasty things she says ? If you were able to ignore her, that would be frustrating for her, but would spoil her malicious fun, and she'd need to find a different hobby than needling you. As she now has a job, she must learn to live within her means, so stop lending her any money --- why should she need any ? If she can't afford to eat out, she shouldn't expect you to pay for her --- she should cook and eat at home. If her cellphone is flat or out of airtime, she can do without the phone calls. Stop playing the game she has set up with you/ And Don't look for any compliments from her.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Nuwife | 2007/07/13

I'm sorry Doris day, but isn't this rather petty and childish. Why can you not be the "bigger" person and just ignore her. If she wants to continue her strange behaviour, let her. But don't involve yourself in her issues unless you also get something out of this.

Reply to Nuwife
Posted by: Lonley . . . | 2007/07/12

My suster is net so jaloers.Ek ek is veronderstel om op HAAR jaloers te wees. Sy het n pragtige dogtertjie (wat ek grootgemaak het) Sy is 8 jaar ouer as ek m.a.w baie meer wereld wys en en en . Maar elke keer as ek naby haar is , voel ek sy wil my vermoor.ons het nie n baie "susie sussie " verhouding gehaat toe ons jonger was nie seker maar a.g.v die groot ouderdoms verslik. En deesdae let al my vriende op hoe jaloers en verkleineerend sy teenoor my is . Ek het n goeie werk ,en sy ook , alhoewel ek nie naastenby so baie pay soos sy nie . Ek het nie my eie huis nie , sy het wel . Ek het nie n bf nie , maar sy het wel .En ek toon rerig nie dat dit my pla nie , want ekle mens werk sy eie heil uit. En op n manier is ons altwee seker gelukkig!!!Al was daar nOOIT suster liefde nie . So JA

Reply to Lonley . . .
Posted by: doris day | 2007/07/12

Which i did at the co i work for which paid pretty well considering how easy the work was. I got her in touch with recrutiment agents i knew checked for jobs etc. Today she's settled into a nice job earns good & brags to everyone how she did this on her own? Not soo much as a thank you note ?

Reply to doris day

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