Posted by: ruby | 2008/11/13

is it hate my daughter feels

My daughter is 13 years old, I am not married to her father as I deciced not to marry him after he hit me while I was pregnant with her. We live together as he doesn' t work, he is one of those schemers that is going to make it big one day, he gets money from people that beliefs in his schemes, I pay for everything from the rent to what ever, he even drives my car, I met someone else one day after I was stuck with no petrol on the road, he stopped and waited until my son came, we become good friends and my daughter likes him, we met a few times, he has a daughter the same age. He knows my daughters father stays with me and told me to chase him away otherwise we cannot see each other, on which I have told him many times to leave and he doesn' t, I am scared of him, he hsa a bad temper and I am scared he might kill us, now this other guy send me an sms to say he is seeing someone else, my daugter cried and said now I let her father stay and this nice guy is gone, what do you think does she really want him to leave and does she hate him

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Our expert says:
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I understand your concerns, though presumably it's as easy for him to hit you married or unmarried, if you still live together. And if you're paying for everything, this is even better for him than a marriage. Where is the advantage to you and your child, in this arangement ? Discuss this with a lawyer and the magistrate's court --- you may be able to get a court order forbidding him from approaching you and requiring him to leave your home --- and trying to protect you against any potential violence on his part.
I'm sure your daughter has no reason to hate the nice guy, but she may be very disappointed and angry if you alloowed her to believe that he would live with you and everything would be happy, and now she sees this as not happening. Maybe Nice Guy felt you'd never get rid of Dead Beat Dad and moved on. Wouldn't you be better off without the dead beat anyway ? Whether or not THIS nice guy came back, you'd at least be open to meeting other nice guys, later on

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