Posted by: Lena | 2008/09/15

is it for the wrong reasons?

Hi all I have always bn very self conscious about my breasts. Ppl tell me I am very pretty and have a lovely figure but I know it would look much better with breasts. They are not ugly just very tiny and in terms of clothing there is so much I cannot wear.

I am 35 and have been self-conscious about my small size since my mid teens. It’ s always been very hard for me to accept my lovers don’ t have a problem with my breasts, it always seems they are just being nice and don' t want to upset me. Men like breasts, they always have and always will. Even if I wanted to get away from that reality I just have to watch half an hour of TV or open a magazine and the message is sent again.

If I saved for 2 years I could afford implants. I just feel very bad as that money could be used for a lot of other things like taking my child to Disneyland Paris or buying my parents some new household appliances. Or even buying shares and investing for the future.

I sometimes imagine that I’ d be married by now if I had decent size breasts. I know it sounds so silly but there are a million things I believe would be different if I had breasts. Is this very warped?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I understand your concerns, and your belief that simply getting an enlargement of your breasts may solve so much, but in reality, this is surprisingly often not so. Sensible plastic surgeons ask clients to see a psychiatrist for a proper assessment before surgery, because often the personal issues of low self-esteem, low self-confidence, etc., have become focussed on a particular body part, and without dealing properly ( as in CBT counselling ) with those particular issues, surgery usually does NOT solve the problem as expected, and a person may feel devastated at having not lost the concerns that worried them, and having lost the hope that surgery would solve them.
I know exactly your sort of feelings, that IF ONLY you had larger breasts, you'd be married, happy, and everyhing else would be rosy. You can be married and happy whatever the size of your breats ; and you'd be surprised how many women have considerably larger breasts, and are convinced that they'd be happy, etc., iif only their breasts were smaller.
So do see a good local shrink for an assesment and a detailed exploration of these issues and alternative ways of delaing with them.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: E.S. | 2008/09/17

Ek sukkel baie om ' n klein genoeg bra te kry, en kan glad nie mooi toppies met nate en voue dra nie. Ek het ' n vriendin wat haar D cups laat kleiner maak het na ' n B, en sy laat pas my altyd klere aan. Sy sal sê : Kyk hierdie mooi toppie!" . Dan sê  ek altyd: Nou wat moet ek hí é r insit?" . Dis nie lekker nie. Maar ek het dit aanvaar. Ek spot nou daaroor. Kyk ' n bietjie vir How to look good naked op BBC L. Eendag as jy ouer is, gaan jy bly wees jy het nie kanne nie. Ek was baie keer al jaloers op my vriendinne, maar as kan hardloop en spring, en perdry, en doen wat ek wil sonder om deur my tieties gepla te wees, dan is ek bly. En my ou is mal oor hulle.
As jy deur al die trauma wil gaan met ' n man in gedagte, dink ek nie dis die regte ding nie. Alles sak eventually uit, en dan is dit ware liefde wat bly staan. Nie lus nie.
Laat weet ons wat jy besluit het.

Reply to E.S.
Posted by: jcat | 2008/09/16

Weird...I would love to have much much smaller breasts! If you think there is so much you can' t wear because you are smaller, think again about the lines of every top being stretched out and distorted by big ones. Yecchh.

But even though I' d much rather have smaller ones (and a better figure), ultimately a relationship is never going to be based on your bra size, and if it is - as James said - that is a very shallow reason. You are worth much more than that.

Reply to jcat
Posted by: John | 2008/09/16

Don' t do it. Rather see a shrink to discuss YOUR perception that your breasts are not good enough and resolve this poor self-image. It will benefit you in very many ways. I' ve dated women who have had implants and I assure that its hardly worth it. In any event, if a man marries you because of your fake breasts, then he is an idiot that you should not marry in the first place. Stick that money away for your kids education in a money market fund.

Reply to John
Posted by: Do it!! | 2008/09/16

I had the same problem as you and I got implants. I saved money just as you must do and am not sorry for one moment. I do not have to be shy anymore and can wear whatever I want to. Do yourself the favour and go for it!!!

Reply to Do it!!
Posted by: Little_Devil | 2008/09/16

I think you should get implants. So many women get them for the wrong reasons. You should not feel pressured to have bigger breasts because someone told you to get them, but I think you want to get them because you are not happy with your current figure and I truly believe you will feel better about yourself if you do have surgery.

Just this morning my fiance and I had a discussion about her getting implants once were done having kids one day (in the distant future). She told me if I had to borrow or beg for money, she would want breast implants. She has lovely breasts and I don' t want them any bigger or smaller than they are right now and she feels good about the fact that I complement her about them every day.

Please follow your own instincts about this matter and don' t feel pressured by what any of us say!

Reply to Little_Devil
Posted by: James | 2008/09/16

Everyone is different and thats what makes people beautiful. My personal preference is small breasts but am not fussy. Would hold it against my partner if they were big or small. Besides if someone enters a relationship based on breast size that would be far to shallow to continue with, its the person that matters.

Reply to James
Posted by: EL | 2008/09/15

Most men hate implants! I' ve heard many men say that! Rather get yourself biobust and use it until you' re satisfied.

Reply to EL
Posted by: Zexeon | 2008/09/15

I think its a nice infestment to have the implants.

Reply to Zexeon
Posted by: me | 2008/09/15

Yes it is.
There are certainly better things to worry about. I love my small breasts &  am proud of them, I believe they make me look young though I' ve breastfed a child. I wouldn' t trade them for the world.

Reply to me

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