Our expert says:
Its not the quantity of hope, but its focus that matters. However much I might choose to hope to be part of the next SA Olympic team, it will absolutel definitely not happen. If I chose to hope for it, I will inevitably be disappointed. And hope alone is not enough, even if it is valuable as part of one's activity. If, as you seem to be discussing, we're talking of hope for change in a relationship, then that requires both parties to share the same hope or vision of how they want things to be --- and for BOTH of them, working together in marriage / couples counselling, to realistically work towards the shared goals. If your partner refuses to take part in such counselling, then individual counselling for yourself is the nest best, including realisticall assessing your options for your own best safety and happiness.
Hope without work doesn't get there ; work without hope is pointless.
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