Our expert says:
Sometimes relationships are going nowhere, because the pair of you didn't choose a destination - that's like getting into a car and driving, without deciding where you're going TO.
Also, I find often in the type of situation you describe, it's hard to see why they guy WOULD decide to marry you - he already has every benefit he'd want from marrying you, without the disadvantages, commitment and costs. Sounds also like you have trapped yourself in the situation by taking out loans ( which YOU owe ) to help deal with HIS debts. It really doesn't sound as though he respects you, does it ? Kids don't respond well to continuing conflict - a separation that STOPS conflict and the quarrelling they see round the home, can be a relief to them, and not necessarily damaging for them
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