Our expert says:
You know, Rea, I have seen variations on this theme before. Where someone has a fairly chronic illness like Depression, a marriage can come to be organized around She's Depressed, He's OK set of rules, and the husband can become bothered in ways he can't identify or explain, when the depression improves and he has a more independent and capable wife back. It's not that he wants her to be depressed, but that he's grown used to it, and finds it hard to cope with the improvement.
Similarly, he may love his wife, even if she's a bit overweight, and feel no need to be jealous, assuming that with the overweight and depression, she's Safe from the attentions of others. Now she's not depressed, more energetic, looking great and greater --- and going to gym with other beautiful people, and he starts to feel insecure. Maybe think of marriage counselling now, to set things right. He can see it as finishing the dealing with your problems, and his problems with you, but along the way, of course, i'll deal with your problems with him, including his self-neglect and insecurity.
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