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Question
Posted by: NN | 2007/04/13

Is he gay??

Maybe I am being a bit paranoid but it all seems to make sense as to why I feel this way. I have been with my bf for 8 months. He is living with his friends of 10 yrs. They are actually so close that it makes me sick to my stomach and makes me seriously wonder if they are gay. My bf comes and spends the weekends by me and all weekend his friend will call and sms him to see how he is doing. During the week at work they will call each other. My bf will phone his friend when he is on his way home or if he is working late. His friend will email him little quotes of inspiration and will tell him that he must have a good day at work and he must follow his dreams. And we are not allowed to go to the malls near to us as his friend might see us together and then kick my bf out of the flat. His friend manipulates my bf and my bf will not stick up for himself. I really do not know what to think and it is really grossing me out. Is he gay or am I being paranoid???

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Our expert says:
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It sounds like an unwholesome relationship, whether or not it's gay. Especially the idea that his friends ould kick him out of the flat they share just because he has a girlfriend.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Colin | 2007/04/16

Blondie ....whatever usually means you have no debate, but what ever.

Mega..... what ever , the last 8 people I humped all had double X chromosones babes :)

Reply to Colin
Posted by: mega | 2007/04/16

I think Colin is gay too!!!!

Reply to mega
Posted by: Blondie.. | 2007/04/16

Whatever Colin - then you obviously are not attracting the right women..

I have close friendships, but I definitely do not not take my bf to the mall for fear of them seeing us together. It's called balancing your time.

I reckon he's either gay or he's a she..

Reply to Blondie..
Posted by: Colin | 2007/04/16

Not at all.
Guys have close relationships with each other all the time.
The moment a girlfriend comes in she tries to shut it down, keep his friends at a distance............ she must be the only one in his life... but she can keep all her friends.
I have lived through this before, everytime one of my buddies got a new grilfriend we hardley saw him again.
I have also had girlfriends telling me "she does not like my friends"

Reply to Colin
Posted by: EB | 2007/04/15

Exactly - women have relationships like that all the time, but very unusual for men to - unless they're gay or the one is a woman. - Goes back to the same conclusions.

Reply to EB
Posted by: Colin | 2007/04/13

But woman have relationships like this all the time.... SMS es, calls, emails, calling the odds on boyfriends are they all lesbian?

Reply to Colin
Posted by: RMC | 2007/04/13

YIKES, TC - never thought of that!

Reply to RMC
Posted by: TC | 2007/04/13

Have you ever met this friend? I was in the same situation and found out his "friend" was pregnant with his baby and only then found out the friend was a she after he told me the friend was a he. We were also not allowed to be seen in public together ect ect. See BIG red lights and get out while you can.

Reply to TC
Posted by: Annastacia | 2007/04/13



Most definetly there is something going on... maybe he is a closet gay or his bi.... Possibly he has been in a gay relationship with his roomate for years and the room mate does not know he is bi or he does and is the jealous type hence he would kick him out if he found out. And your BF is afraid to tell you for obvious reasons....

Is your BF dependent on his roomate for ANYTHING e.g money, place to stay etc?

Reply to Annastacia
Posted by: Sue | 2007/04/13

Girl, I wonder why your bf allows this guy to obviously dictate his life to him. Sounds very strange. Please you are not even allowed to go to shopping malls in your area! Usually when something smells fishy, IT IS. Why don't you ask your bf if he and the other guy are more than ordinary friends. Obviously this is not your run of the mill relationship. If they are gay/bi, I just hope that they have the courage to tell you so that you can move on without getting too badly hurt. I don’t think it is fair towards you to hide any secrets! Maybe you guys can stay friends, but this guy obviously has issues (jealousy).

Reply to Sue
Posted by: RMC | 2007/04/13

I am wondering the same thing about our interns here - they studied together, were in the same res - now they go on lunch together and have to do everything together. If one is sick the other is too. We sent one to our other office for the day a while back and the other was so quiet and sulky the whole day. Now the first one has a crisis at home and has been off the whole week - I was out at the satellite office and came back yesterday - guess who was not feeling well and had to go home and is not in today? I keep telling myself this is silly but what you say is making me wonder it more.

Your BF definitely sounds gay or bi? Ten years is a really long time to be roomies. Freakingly long.

Reply to RMC
Posted by: Just me | 2007/04/13

No wonder alarm bells are going off in your head, there's something seriously wrong with this situation. Just rock up at his flat unannounced one day, I am sure his reaction and his flatmates reaction will telll you more than enough.

Reply to Just me

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