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Question
Posted by: splash | 2007/04/24

is he cheating?

my boyfriend lives for hours away, he has cheated on me, will he do it again?

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Our expert says:
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Probably. A long-distance relationship with a known cheater has the odds greatly stacked against it.

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Our users say:
Posted by: LP | 2007/04/26

I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this - but once a cheater, always a cheater! I've seen it over and over again.

Ask yourself whether this guys is worth all the anxiety and uncertainty you are going to feel from now on?

Reply to LP
Posted by: Daisy | 2007/04/24

Of course if he has done it before the chances are he will again. Sorry but I dont think its wise to stay with someone after they have cheated. He has broken the trust and the relationship should be over.

Reply to Daisy
Posted by: rose | 2007/04/24

hi splash

has he given you any reason to believe that he WONT do it again? i dont think anyone here can tell you yes or no, but do you have a happy trusting relationship now, and have you been able to forgive him? even if he never cheats on you again, are you coping without wondering what he's up to, because that could also ruin a relationship.

it doesnt help only feeling secure when you can see him and spend time with him, you should feel secure and not doubt his 'agenda' when he's not with you, as well.

otherwise it will eat you alive and you will be imagining the worst even when he's sitting at home watching tv. you have to decide whether you think it is worth it to doubt your relationship 24/7(or at least the times you're apart).

what's the chances of you moving closer to each other? how long have you been together? although, this still doesnt help if you cant rebuild trust and eradicate doubt. ie. even if he moves next door to you tomorrow, will you be able to not expect he will cheat on you again? i guess what im trying to say is that im convinced that a decent, loving, respectful guy/man will not cheat even if he lives far away. sorry if that hurts you, but i just really believe that.

i dont know your whole situation, but you must decide if this torture of 'will he, wont he', is worth it. anyone/everyone deserves to be happy and secure in a relationship.

all of the best to you.

Reply to rose

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