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Question
Posted by: Shelved | 2004/11/23

Is calling it quits the answer?

Does one hang on to someone who is decent, good characteristics, a few annoying habits which really bug me at times but blow over till the next time, does not hang out with the boys or pubs, probably would be classed as boring by most BUT
the relationship is not going anywhere. After a chat or two he agrees that we need to plan but then that dies down and nothing is said for another few months. It is so difficult in your mid years to go out and meet someone. Do I stick it out. I would like to get engaged but how the heck do I suggest that. Engagement to me is a promise of something to come, a committment?
I really have tried speaking to him and now I'm embarrassed because nothing has come of it. We date now for 4 years.
We do not want to live together. ...me especially for the reason I would want more and he would be very comfortable.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Why not get you two into relationship counselling, to figure out whether this relationship is just temporarily becalmed, or really won't be going anywhere ?

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Boring | 2004/11/23

Dear Shelved

I'm classified as boring, think of myself as relatively decent, and don't drink myself into oblivion down at the pub. I'm sure I have a few annoying(?) habits also. I've been shelved too.

Consider that maybe your otherhalf doesn't trust you completely? Maybe it's a question of unfinished groth?

Its that way with me, I don't/didn't trust my significant other completely. The groth for her was as false as she was at times.

Could this be a case of not being contentment?

Complaining while you have all you must? Don't get me wrong, I'm asking, I don't know everything.

Sit down, discuss it like grownups. Talk !!!

Comunicate, don't assume.

Michael

Reply to Boring
Posted by: Kernel | 2004/11/23

Go out and mix and meet with other people, otherwise you would be shelved for good.

Maybe if he sees you are not guaranteed to be available to him alone he will catch a wake-up and do something about it.

Don't let your life go by through the lack of committment from him - this is your best years going by.

Reply to Kernel

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