Posted by: JJ | 2009/09/05

Is alle mans so????

My vraag is: Wat het van my man geword waarmee ek getrou het? Ek weet ek was altyd sy nommer 1, maar die laaste tyd is ek laaste op sy lys. Die ding is so: Ek moet na die kinders omsien sodat hy naweek na naweek saam sy vriende kan gaan baljaar. Hy sal nie eenkeer ' n naweek saam sy gesin of saam met sy vrou reë l nie, maar net sy vriende. Hy gebruik altyd die verskoning: Ek kan nie dat my vriend alleen op die 4x4 trip gaan nie, maar hy verwag dat sy vrou alleen by die huis sit????

Ek het nou besluit: ek gaan nie meer naweek na naweek by die huis sit nie. Ek sal ' n oppasser kry en self my lewe begin geniet. Ek wil glad nie ' n ander man hê  nie, want lyk my almal is dieselfde - net vriende, vriende, drink, vriende, drink, vriende....., Is daar iemand wat dieselfde voel, want dit voel werklik asof hy my nie meer in sy lewe nodig het nie (o,ja behalwe as hy seks soek natuurlik) dan moet ek net altyd lus wees. Kan ' n vrou se lewe so wees. Is dit normaal?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

No. Neither all men, nor all women are any particular way. As we grow older, we usually grow up, but some grow down ( like Michael Jackson ) and some grow sideways. Its not clear whether you are describing a way in which he has changed in some major way, or whether he is maybe only showing more clearly a way ghe was before, all along. It is immature and selfish for a man to spend all or most of his free time with his pals and away from his wife and family --- its also a very old-fashioned way to expect women to be second-class citizens and subservient to their (male) friends. What's wrong with his friends that they can't drive anywhere on their own ? Aren't they big boys now ?
If you can find a good baby-sitter ( maybe you can swop baby-sititng duties with some friends ? ) it's reasonable for you to go out with friends. I think you'll get more interesting feedback from other women after the weekend, when many readers return to work.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Charm | 2009/09/07

I agree. Some men think that when the wife has kids then he can go an parade, she is always at home with the kids. One trip with friends, two trips with friends, the next thing you know... there is someone else. The key here is that you must not forget about yourself. Most married women love their families so much that their whole lives revolve around them and she forgets about herself. The love for herself. When you love yourself all other " obstacles"  would not hurt you. And guess what...when your man senses that CONFIDENCE he will eventually stop. But the key is not to do this for that purpose. Please dont forget about yourself! good luck it is not very pleasant to experience something like this.

Reply to Charm
Posted by: Mickey | 2009/09/07

Hi JJ,

Your not alone... I feel for you coz I am in the exact same boat.. They are selfish and only think about themselves!!
You can talk to him but it' s not going to change.. Do the exact same thing to him..Go out enjoy yourself, a little bit of fun is not going to harm you what is good for him is good for you..

Reply to Mickey
Posted by: Anon | 2009/09/06

Ek sal uiters verdag wees oor sy gedrag. Die beste vir n huwelik is die man en vrou alle buitemuurse bedrywighede saam doen, anders vervreem hulle vinnig, wat selfs kan lei dat hy sy seks ook op ander plekke begin kry. Ek praat uit ondervinding. Praat ernstig met hom en maak nuwe reels vir jul huwelik. Hy sal moet besef waar sy prioriteit le. Ek hoop jy kan tot hom deurdring. Sterkte. PS nee alle mans is nie so nie. Regtig!

Reply to Anon

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