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Question
Posted by: Shelby | 2005/07/04

Irritable

Greetings,

I have been trying to fall pregnant for two years, I know it is not a lot compared to some people, but to me it feels like an eternity. It seems like everyone around me is falling pregnant, I am usually OK about it but on Saturday I found out another friend is pregnant and she has been trying for a long time as well. I phoned to congratulate her and then on Sunday felt really depressed as she had been successful and not me. I feel I have failed as a woman in my duty to produce a future generation.

Last month I decided to take it easy and try to occupy my thoughts with work and exercise which worked up until Sunday. I am afraid I might be obsessed with trying to get pregnant. I tossed and turned last night and kept thinking about it. I even dreamt my husband got pregnant with lion embryos!! Can you imagine.

Do you have any suggestions as to how I can move on and do you think that I may be obsessed?

Thank you

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Our expert says:
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Check the forum archives, for a start, as we've discused this very theme a few times, including not long back, with someone who has become an old friend of the forum, was convinced the situation was hopeless, and is now nearing the completion of a good pregnancy.
yes, when you're not mnaging it, it does seem as everyone else is getting pregnant, but that's actually a matter of selective attention. In the same way, if you're waiting at the street for a friend to arrive in a blue car, there seem to be blue cars everywhere !
Pregnancy is a wonderful potential for many women ; it is not a duty, and you have not failed in any way.
it's worth seeing the proper specialists to check if there is any remediable reason why you have not been falling pregnant as easily as you wanted to. And maybe a counselor could help you be less anxious and impatient. It's a common experience in this field that excess anxiety can actually impair fertility, and many people fall pregnanct soon ater they have more or less given up trying,

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Our users say:
Posted by: Irene | 2005/07/04

Its natural for you to become obsessed about having a baby. I worked with a woman who struggled for 5 yrs to fall pregnant. After seeing many specialists she eventually did fall pregnant and ended up having 3 boys in succession. My sister-in-law cannot have children and its left her with a huge chip on her shoulder. She dislikes my daughter and in general she has an ugly disposition and i stay well away from her. If there's a medical reason as to why you can't conceive then you should speak to a professional or see a specialist and/or tell him how you feel otherwise you may end up being like my sister-in-law - she's a very bitter woman.

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