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Question
Posted by: Shae | 2007/06/15

Introvert or Extrovert

Hi CS,

Im not quite sure which i want to be. I remember when i started cutting myself of from the rest of the world, i actually enjoyed it - was safe (asde from the one time i was burgled), and quite content with the thought of never having to see another demon (to me thats what humans are) are, albeit at a cost to myself. It got to a point where i stopped using the train as a mode of transport (its allot cheaper and faster than using my car) but the 15 minute walk to the station would mean being harassed by greasey men on the way and being growled at by the dogs of people who walk them without a leash or let them run in the road unwatched. On quite a ew occasions i was actually groped by men (animals) who would walk by and grab my behind or my breast. When you try to say somenthing to them they laugh and look at you like you're overreacting. Anyway, i could go on forever.

So i locked myself up and was all snug and cosy by myself. Now, life has decided i need to get out. So many people have come into my life - people i really cae about - and these people want to get out and do things - im so afraid, there are rapists (been raped already), murderers, thieves - all kinds of evil distusting creatons out there - and i find myself becoming anxious every time i have to leave my house. Some times i actually cry from fear (and im no softy).

CS, i want to live life freely and to the fullest but how do i do that without the fear. At the end of the day the reality is that there is so much violence and evil out there and no-one hasnt been affected by it. Why does it have to be this way! Why, when humans have such a capacity for love and compassion does it have to be this way!

How do i live life and be safe?

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Our expert says:
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See a CBT counsellor to work on how to handle those fears better, more realistically and effectively, and thus to enable yourself to be and to feel, free. Inluding the freedom to promote love and compassion within our own lives

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Shae | 2007/06/15

I hear you Chelle. My rape however happened when i was 13 and by an ex of my mom's.
Yes Echelle, you can say that again - thats why i struggle with the belief that there are genuinely good people out there.

Intellectually i know being paranoid isnt healthy but .............................i dont know, perhaps i shouldnt watch the news anymore.

Reply to Shae
Posted by: Echelle | 2007/06/15

Wow, a lot of things have happened to you and friends hey?

Reply to Echelle
Posted by: Chelle | 2007/06/15

My philosophy is that I am not going to let any abuser, murderer, rapist etc, get the better of me, or continue to control me in any way.

I will however, take precautions, but not continually make decisions that places my fears above everything else. So, I might not go walking alone in a dark street at night even though I feel I need a walk, but I'll walk with my dog and my partner. It just lessens the chances of something happening, although there is never a guarantee of safety.

There is never a guarantee in anything, and you might fear murderers and end up eloctrocuting yourself. We don't not use electrticity because of it's dangers - we just use it safely.
And that is what we have to remember about life as well.

If we don't live life because of our fears of death, we will eventually die without ever really having lived - in effect we allow ourselves to die before it's time!

I know a person who for many years has never been out at night because she is afraid. I got out at night - taking safety precautions - if I die tomorrow, at least I have lived. I can't say the same for her though. If she was really happy staying at home, then that's fine, but she isn't!

Just get out and about and resolve to ENJOY life and LIVE.

Reply to Chelle

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