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Question
Posted by: Ghostdancer | 2003/02/26

Internet Voyeurism

I love chatting on the net. In December I took this a step further and bought myself a web cam which was great cause I was able to see who I was chatting with and could also be watched. Recently I discovered an adult web site where chatters have the opportunity to "turn it on" so to speak.

I find that I have become addicted to this service. I stay awake late at night cahtting to woman who turn me on with the things that they do to themselves. Its strange cos the more then turn me on, the more they want to see me and the more they show. Its wonderful whist it happens, but I always feel incredibly guilty afterward. It is also anonomous, but I have found myself wanting to write to them to establish some sort of cyber relationship. Is this normal?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Positive Aspects of Cybersexing:
Connecting with people. Meeting people that you have an instant connection with can be difficult. And even if you like the person you have met there is no guarantee that you will be sexually compatible with them.

Cyber-sex allows us to get a birds-eye view into a potential partners sexual makeup. To see if you are actually thinking of the same types of fantasies we are.

It tests whether there is sexual chemistry before you even touch them.

May lead to a partner or friend for life. Some of the hottest and steamiest online sex talks have developed into lovers-at-first-site.

Lose your inhibitions: Anonymity can be a powerful aphrodisiac. At no time in history has there been access to such an array of activities in which you can sexually participate in such a way.

You can choose how much personal information to give out about yourself. For the first time, women (and men) can express themselves sexually and remain completely anonymous. On the web no one even knows for sure if your neighbor “Jane Smith” is really a woman. Or that Jane fantasizes about being penetrated anally by three men in a row. All anyone knows about Jane is the handle (screen name) she chooses for herself. For example: Analbabe@aol.com.

Cybersex is the safest of "safe sex"
All of the satisfaction, none of the disease. Cyber-sex is the SAFEST safe sex around. Instead of a thin veil of rubber separating us from those evil viruses and bacteria associated with sex, there are brick walls, miles, even countries that are keeping us apart.

Exploring your Sexual Self. Dabble in aspects of your life you have always fantasized about but never dared to delve into in real life.

Be whoever you want to be. If you normally identify as a conservative, the Internet becomes the perfect testing pad to be a Flirt, a Tease, a Vamp, a Victim, a Bitch, or a Dominatrix. All of these parts of you are allowed to come up to the surface.

Try an act you normally wouldn’t dare to try in real life. Unfamiliar or even "scary" acts become somehow more manageable on the Internet. This medium becomes a perfect testing ground for acts that inspire performance-anxiety or concern that you won’t know what to expect or be able to handle. For example, have you ever wanted to talk dirty, or dabble with bondage and discipline?

Together -- with no one. Cyber-sex allows you to explore your wildest fantasies not just in your mind, but also with someone else. You can interact with this person and still be in the safe haven of your own private home.

None of the bad stuff. Online you don’t have to think about STDs, bad smells, or looking stupid. If you make a blunder, the worst possible consequences online are turning your computer off for the night.

Learn about what you like. As you take part in new types of titillation, you can gradually learn what parts of those acts you like and what you don’t.

Who cares what you look like? You don’t have to put on makeup or do your hair, lose a few pounds or pick out just the right shoes. You can still be a beautiful coiffed, sexy bombshell wearing silk skivvies (No one will know that you are actually wearing flannel sweats with greasy hair and bad breath).

Develop basic sexual skills. Learning becomes easy and natural without the pressures of reality.

Learn to pick up/send the signals you want. Cues – such as body language and intonation --- exist in the “real” world to tell you and your partners what is working and what isn’t. These cues don’t exist online. Instead you learn to pay attention to other, more discreet, cues and open up more creative ways to express your sexual thoughts and desires.

Learn to negotiate sex in a safe environment. Because the only medium in cyber-sex is words, doing it allows you to get comfortable talking about sex in general, and allows you to tell others what you like and what you don’t like with greater ease.

Ease. Talking online is always available, 24/7. No planning is necessary (although this is sometimes the greatest part of it). Can’t sleep, can’t find anything to do on a Saturday night? Log on and chat whenever you want.

Free. Other than the cost of a computer and an online connection, cyber-sexing doesn’t cost a lot and can be hours and hours of fun.

Feeling of intrigue/desire/passion. There is a delicious build-up of anticipating a sexy session. Linger over what you are going to talk about.

Being desired. One of the greatest thrills of cyber-sex is being the sex goddess you always wanted to be. With the ratio of men to women being 2-1, women have an easy time finding someone to cater to their every sexual whim. Perhaps even experimenting with someone presenting as the same sex.

Increase your creativity. Let the chat box be your blank canvas. Because you get to be exactly what you have always imagined yourself to be, cyber-sex encourages you to delve into that creative nest in your brain and express yourself.



The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Lady Love | 2003/02/26

Enjoy it and have all the fun u can think of!!!!

Reply to Lady Love
Posted by: Simple Mind | 2003/02/26

It's not about whether it's normal or not, it's about whether it is affecting your life in any negative ways. I don't think you need to feel guilty about what you're doing, but make sure it doesn't become an obsession where it affects your ability to have a healthy relationship outside of the "cyberworld".
I'm sure what you're doing can be deemed as good safe sex, and can be a good alternative to "normal" masturbation when a sex partner isn't available.

Reply to Simple Mind

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