Posted by: Dovey | 2008/09/12


My life seem to show some trend that I don' t understand. Most people I have met complemented that I' m a good person, but now I hate it to hear someone telling me that. I was involved with a guy from scool, I went to work on another province far, he cheated on me and got married within 6 months, divorced within another 6 months. In that period within his marriage and after divorce his still wanted to keep in contact with me. The wife used to call me and make threats. I made it clear it' s over between us but I still could not be rude and cut him completely where he wants advice or just to make innocent conversation.

I met another guy fell in love with him, only to find that he has someone, for me just wanted to have his cake. I broke up the relationship but still kept in contact &  became good friends. He trusted me in sharing his personal things(career, would consult me before making decisions etc except his love life), even at some point wanted us to invested together in property. I just could not understand why a person would want to share so much with me where else his has someone.

Recently I broke up with the father of my baby, we were friends for a while before we became lovers, he even knew the two above. We shared a lot, I helped him build up his career, he is were he is now with my support and help. We broke up because there was a lady from his past which I knew but when we started the relationship he told me the were no longer together. The issue of the lady came up after our baby, him being confused whom to be with and in the process tha lady also got pregnant. She also used to call and make threats or use his phone to send sms as if it' s him dumping me. I left him because of more to that it was issue of that they new each other before me and they are from the same place and families know each other. But he would still want to have friendly conversations with me, share what is happening in his life(except with the lady) and come to me for help on personal or career issues and have to understand when he is unable to support our child because of his financial crisis.

I' m very single at the moment, but all 3 they don' t really want to let go of me. They contact me from time to time sometimes with excuses of asking help from me knowing the person I am I can' t refuse to help or talk to them.
I ended up getting furious with the father of my baby because he will want to talk to me or see me knowing that I can' t refuse that as we share our baby, but in most conversation he never even ask about our baby. At some point I felt he is using me to better himself to support and provide for another woman and their baby because he was not paying any support for my baby but staying ad providing for them. Is it all fair?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Guys PLEASE edit down your messages, which are growing longer and longer, and so many times longer than any of the other experts need to deal with. Its a valuable exercise for you to edit down your thoughts before posting them so as to include only the essential details, rather than everything you can think of --- that alone will be helpful to you. I cannot keep reading such very long, unnecessarily long messages.
Other readers may be able to offer you useful comments. I am here to deal with significant psychiatric and psychological problems, not complex love affairs.
This posting reads more like a rant, of something you wanted to get off your chest ( fine, but include Rant in the heading, so we can take it as it is ) rather than a question neding my expertise for an answer

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