Posted by: anonymous | 2009/08/21

inter country relocation

I have been surved divorce summons by my stbx and my lawyer and I responded and now waiting for court dates, family advocate enquiry etc.

the promlem that I have is I want to relocate to another city as I have been offered another job and want to start off fresh again.

My stbx will not agree on me taking our children one of which is an infant and surely needs me his mother.

Can I relocate eventhough the divorce is not finalized and can I take our children even if my stbx do not agree.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageDivorce support expert

Hello anonymous,

this is a very tricky situation you are in.
It is understandable that after a divorce one would seize an opportunity to "start fresh". However SADSA supports a child-centered divorce approach and it is of utmost importance, that divorcing parents take the time necessary to address what is best for the children. Although it is nice to start fresh after a divorce, if you are parents, you cannot dismiss the fact that you will be parents for the rest of your lives, even if you are not together anymore. Children have the right to have both parents in their lives and their parents divorce is not their divorce, just as both parents have the right to maintain a relationship with their children. It takes great maturity and responsibility to acknowledge this but it is important to put it at the top of the list and possibly not make a decision for a change of life too quickly. This need to start fresh is very much motivated by a stage of hurt and a need to break free from the ex spouse, but it is not necessarily the best for the children.
I do believe the law does protect the children in this manner and a parent cannot move away without the consent of the other parent.
Do consider very carefully what impact it will have on the children. It has been establish that it is not a divorce which hurts children but the selfish behaviour of their parents.
I do believe that your intentions for your children are of a good nature but do trust that children do need both their parents in their lives.

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