Posted by: Dalene | 2008/11/03


CS, I' m living a fat relationship lie at the moment. I' m not sure if I' m ready to end my relationship, but things are too serious. I' d like us to take a break for a few months. I' d like to date other people before settling down (if I ever decide to settle).

When we fight my boyfriend becomes very clingy. And when I tried to break up earlier this year, he refused to let me go. Didn' t stop phoning me. When I felt cornered on the phone I hung up. So he just showed up at my house at 10pm.

I don' t have the answers he needs. He' ll want to know why he' s not good enough, why he' s not worth fighting for, etc. I don' t know how to deal with those questions while remaining assertive about what I need??

I' m also not sure HOW to break up with him. If I do it face-to-face or over the phone, how do I make sure I don' t get all soft and cave in to the guilt?

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Our expert says:
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Maybe sharing some sessions of couples counselling could help you to understand each other better, and help him to understand what you want and that it's not meant as an attack on him.

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Our users say:
Posted by: J | 2008/11/03

He is selfish and immature. And you will be so sorry in the years to come if you are stuck with him, if you already feel the way you do. OK this is not what you have asked for, but make sure you move along. You do not owe him anything, if he does not want to listen, get harsh and unpleasant, not immature, and tell him to buzz of and respect your decision.

I can' t see why you should waste your time and energy on counselling sessions with him, you are not married. Tell him he must leave you alone, you do not owe him anything and he has no right to make a nuisance of himself.

Reply to J

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