Our expert says:
What you are aiming at doing is highly admirable. And there's no easy recipe to follow, because almost every relevan factor is highly individual - the child's personality, yours and your partner's. Follow your heart, and be prepared to wait to understand, to recognize what the bereaved child may need when she needs it - to listen to her, and open a freedom to chat with her about this and any other concerns she may have. Maybe you can involve your own daughter, too, explaining to her what has happened, and how her advice and thoughts on how to help the other girl, will be important and valuable ; and explain in advance that she herself will always be vitally important to you, and that this other little girl will be aded to your love, but can never replace your own daughter who will be forever dear to you.
I like Caro's idea about discussing the situation with the children's schools, and seeing to what etent they can be helpful.
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