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Question
Posted by: light | 2004/11/05

insecurity and anxiety in new relationship due to being cheated on in previous relationship - please help

i was cheated on in previous relationship, i am scared i am going to lose new boyfriend due to my insecurities, my new boyfriend just waved to a girl he knew and i got extremely anxious, i am so scared on being cheated on again. i dont want to lose my new guy due to talking to him about it.

he is not the bad guy, my previous guy was, but i am so insecure.




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Our expert says:
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This is a perfect illustration of one of the basic principles of CBT counselling. After an unpleasant experience like your previous relationship, we often draw too broad a conclusion. Instead of concluding, aptly, that SOME men cheat Sometimes, so one needs to be a bit cautious, we conclude that ALL men cheat constantly, and get so insecure and suspicious that we risk nmaking this come true even when it isn't. And that's where counselling can be so useful, to re-examine these false or excessive conclusions we have drawn, test them out, and revise them. Similarly, in counselling you would work on your own problems of self-esteem, and recognize that there';s no good reason why your friend would want to cheat on you, and that waving at other girls he knows is pleasant and not threatening.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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