Posted by: Manny | 2008/12/15

inlaws visits?

Hi guys, what would you do if you are at work and your hubby calls you to say his siblings(4) have arrived for christmas holidays without you knowing or agreeing to it especially when you have to go home for the whole week of christmas (unveiling of tombstone) of which hubby has known about it since june? as such his not interested to go home with me and help us out, he claimed to have no money to assist financially but out of the blue his made plan for his siblings to visit and knowing him its gonna be a spending spree when im not around.

i also dont like the idea of leaving them alone in my house coz i know how naughty and careless they can be!
i dont know how to act or behave coz hubby expects me to be OK and he behave as if nothing is wrong. how do i make my point clearer this time around coz it has happened before and fought about it but i ended up putting a smile for everyone to feel at home with ease?

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Our expert says:
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It is appalling bad manners for ANYONE< family or not, to just turn up, whether at christmas or not, and expect you to welcome tham and care for the,. If you have, apparently, good reasons to go home to your own family, do so. IF he welcomes these cuckoos, let him provide for them. And warn him not to spend lavishly on them, as that money is needed for you and the pair of you, not to greedy hangers on.
Make it very clear to him that you consider this arangement extremely selfish and inconsiderate of him, and you are justifiably outraged. Definitely do not entertain these buzzards. And yes, lock away yopur new appliances and anything else of value or fragile. You can be cool but polite, but have no need to be friendly to them, and explain calmly to them how extremely inconvenient this is to you.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anon also | 2008/12/17

I would just go home and tell everyone, nice to see you, but sorry, you cannot stay. They can sleep over that night, but the next day they must leave. And next time they should arrange well in advance if they want to come over.

Don' t stand for it. Your hubby needs a good talking to. Who does he think he is???

Reply to Anon also
Posted by: Anon | 2008/12/15

I agree with soul, tell him he made these plans without obtainng your consent so it will be his sole responsibility...
And if the siblings ask anything of you, smile politely and say that you don' t know and that they should rather ask your hubby! :)

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Loly | 2008/12/15

soul is right just take care of ur child and he will take care of his rats that he brought in the house when u back from just have a god bath and tell him u are not feeling well u can' t cook ,and tell him to get take aways do it almost everyday he will start complaining i promise u and when he complains u simply tell him if it was the 3 people he was going to afford so he has to suffer conseqenses

Reply to Loly
Posted by: Soul | 2008/12/15

That was so unfair of him to do this without your knowledge, it' s just not right. You need to put your foot down and your hubby needs to take care of all their needs and he should do all the running around for them not you.

You can be friendly and polite to them but you should make it clear that since it was his decision to keep this information from you that you won' t be doing any running around for them, that he needs to take care of everything, give him a taste of his own medicine.

Reply to Soul
Posted by: Manny | 2008/12/15

apparently his not interested in spending xmas with us (me and kid) at my homeplace, he' d rather come just for the thinking of pretending they(siblings) are not there, not entertain them and concentrate on my responsibility for the unveiling, maybe a change of my behav iour will make him think twice next time coz clearly he hasnt learnt a lesson...
i even put away my new and expensive kitchen appliances away coz i dont need more troubles...
is sucking up gonna work?

Reply to Manny
Posted by: ? | 2008/12/15

oh man! ur husband is so selfish! how can he not tell you they were coming over? and u can' t even do anything now. you can' t exactly chase them away. but ur hubby should still come with u.

Reply to ?

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