Posted by: desperate | 2004/11/25

Inlaws and christmas

Hi All. My wifes inlaws are great people dont get me wrong but they can also be so controlling so that everything must fit into there plans. We wife and I were going to try get the families togeter this year, though it would be nice.

Anyways to cut a long and irritating story short what we thought would be a joined famly one is now turning into a decision making one were we need to her parents have no problem with myne but dont want to be uncomforatble around my other family members(dont know them)! I have already asked my parents and Aunt and Uncle and there kids and now feel sorry for my wife as i dont want to make it difficult for her...

Anyways it a tough one as we dont want to have this over all our heads just before christmas!!!

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Our expert says:
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I know the sort ! I agree with JM, that the first priority at Christmas, socially, ought to be to please yourself and your immediate family --- there's no point in making yourselves miserable to nmake others marginally happier.
If your inlaws just don't feel they'd be happy with the plans you have made for Christmas, then their presence isnt compulsory. Maybe have them round for New Year, instead ?
And where in the Bible did it say we were bound to entertain a bunch of lazy free-loaders ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Lonestar | 2004/11/25

Glad to see that I am not the only one with this kind of a problem. If I recall correctly I had a similar question a few weeks ago. Still no clear cut solution at this stage and I am still the black sheep, but I am still adamant to go solo and have a nice picknick with my hubby and kids. If I see the family I see them, if not, well, TOUGH!
I'll have the decency to pass good wishes, but this little donkey bumped its head to many times.

I am sick and tired of entertaining others by cooking (Turkey,ducks and chickens and roasts) preparing food for hours for all to enjoy (They usually eat like pigs and drop on the couch for a rest) and afterwards having to clean. So what is left of Christmas....I don't think I am being selfish, in fact it will be the first time I will be fair to myself.

Just my 50c worth.
Good luck to you all.

Reply to Lonestar
Posted by: JM | 2004/11/25

That is the one thing about Christmas I hate, you always have to please everyone else except yourself. Run around like 'n "afkop hoender" just to ensure that everyone is happy.

If your inlaws don't want to fit into you plans, then they just have to be on their own. Surely you are adults and you cannot jump whenever the inlaws says jump.

You have already asked your family and it will be exceptionally rude to tell them that the plans are cancelled just because the 'inlaws' feel uncomfortable.

Tell the inlaws they are welcome to attend but your plans are already made and you cannot change it now.

Well good luck and I really hope you sort this out as Christmas is a time to rejoice!

Reply to JM

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