Posted by: alta | 2008/06/02


I love my husband very much but I find it very difficult to initiate sex.He also complains about it but It is so difficult.please help me for I am so scared that he will go and look for it elsewhere and find it.

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Our expert says:
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Counselling, for the pair of you, is surely the answer. And is the misery you are expressing really not work R 200 an hour for a few sesions ? The issue obviously involves both of you --- and why is it considered essential for you to initiate sex ? Sounds like the problem is surely more complex than that, but soluble if you both take pert in counselling and both have good will

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Our users say:
Posted by: LOL | 2008/06/03

i agree with TP. sexual confidence doesnt just happen, you have to work at it. buy urself some sexy undies, nighties. wear it under a silky gown. be sure to let him see just a wisp of what u have on underneath. u dont have to talk if its uncomfortable for u. and he sure as hell will get the message

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Posted by: E.S. | 2008/06/03

I understand how you feel, and to me it is only an emotional thing. I am not a cold person, but I, too, find it hard to get in the mood. And then I always have a great time.
BUT! This only happened when my bf and I got to the point where we could understand each other and communicate better. And since I've left my past issues behind me.
I like it better when we don't PLAN on making love; when it just happens. The moment I know that it is "expected" of me, I switch off.
Realy loving this person, and experiencing his love, has made the biggest difference though.

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Posted by: kasandra | 2008/06/03

dear alta

I really do understand what you mean.... I have the same problem. Its so very hard for me - for me I do think its issues from my past blocking me into doing it. Everyone is always quick to say get professional help which I know would help but it cost a fortune R200 a hour. Maybe its also about being comfortable about yourself and your body, cause I do know I am not.... Good luck and I hope we both can find our way in being more intimate....

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Posted by: TP | 2008/06/02

Its not like ur gonna spell it out to him,just show him that u want him....let me tell u how I do it!

1.Sometimes during the day I would send him a sexy sms,indicating that tonite I want him on top of me badly.
2.When I get home I would take a bath,then get to bed naked,I would rub my behind on him till it wakes up and we do it.3.We call love making SERVICE,so I would indicate while watching tv that I need a thorough SERVICE tonite,only him understands me.

Try all the tricks in the book lady,and enjoy ur man!!!

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Posted by: MACK | 2008/06/02


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Posted by: why | 2008/06/02

i'm curious as to why you can't initiate it? i'm a wife and my husband is the one who never initiates it, but he's just not a sexual person. at least you seem to care - so why not just get into bed in the nude, or just kiss/touch him and see where things lead? just do it, is the only advice i can give you - because as far as i can tell, even our marriage counselor told my husband to 'just make the move'. it isn't like he will reject you, so you have nothing to be afraid of.

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