Posted by: Jessica | 2009/02/24

Indecisive man..

My bf of three years wants to settle down with me (get married, have kids etc), but at the same time he wants to travel the world and live out his other dreams. He has always wanted to do some traveling and the only reason he has never done so is because he'  s afraid that he might lose me. I can'  t travel with him, because I have a child from a previous relationship and am settled in my career.

Last night I told him to go and live out his dreams and that I would wait until he'  s ready to settle down for good. I love him too much to watch him settle into a marriage where he would not be completely satisfied. I want a happy husband.

This morning on our way to work I asked him when he plans on giving me my ring back (we were engaged before but we broke it off and decided to wait till we were sure). Seeing as I'  m offering to wait for him and '  reserve'  myself for him, we can just as well settle into the idea of being engaged...??? So he says that he'  s not sure whether he would want to be a bachelor or get married.... Totally opposite than what he said last night.

Geez...I'  m so sick and tired of his indecisiveness. Should I just move on?? I don'  t feel like putting in my 100% as I'  ve always done, what'  s the use.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Get going | 2009/02/25

I agree. Someone who really loves you does not want to " find themselves"  " explore the world"  or " needs space"  He is just jerking you around. He sounds immature and its difficult for someone who is not actually 15 or 16 to suddenly grow up. He will always be like that. You sound like a together, responsible adult, don' t waste your life and affections on a juvenile. There are some real good men waiting out there who will treat you as you deserve to be treated.

Reply to Get going
Posted by: Lilla | 2009/02/24

Move on. Best thing to do.
If this guy isn' t sure about wanting to be married to you, and is considering going overseas for long periods at a time, he' s NOT THAT INTO YOU.
I love my husband dearly, and he loves me, and neither one of us regardless of the opportunity would want to be away from the other.
We have been married 5 years now, together 8 years, and it is absolute hell when he has to go on a course for work - and sleep out only ONE night. He smses me during the night to tell me how he misses holding me etc, and I simply battle for hours to fall asleep without him next to me.
Nah, get over this guy, you will find someone who really wants to be with you.

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