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Question
Posted by: Kiki | 2005/12/08

in love with my boss what a cliche

please help. i have strong feelings for my boss. i am married with a 6 yr old and i lie awake at night unable to get this guy out of my head. i am finding it very hard to deal with my feelings. i have tried ignoring them, i started playing piano, playing tennis, joined a gym etc, just to keep busy.

he initiated the flirting and i responded, i am as much at fault as he is. problem is the chemistry is explosive. i even dream about him and i am scared of sleep talking. all i want to do is sleep with him, thats all i can think about, but i don't because i don't want to compromise my marraige and i feel it would be so stupid to sleep with a man i see every day. i feel like i am living a nightmare. what can i tell myself so that i can come away from this unscathed and still keep my job (which i love and i need the money) and i don't want to upset him either. lately i have been short to the point of rude with him cause i feel vulnerable and confused.

i feel like i am on dangerous turf. i don't want danger and i desperately want what i feel for him to go away!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Chemistry is over-rated, and usually an excuse. Just say no --- tell him that his attentions are of course very flattering but you are hapilly married with a child you love greatly, so you cannot allow anything to come of this.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Star | 2005/12/08

I think this so called cemistry is more about doing that what you are not allowed to do. The unknown. DON'T do it. If you love your child and husband, step away. Other wise devorse and go for it. Remember a flirt or affair is not the same as marraige and the grass is not always greener on the other side. If it is the attention or kind words you like from your boss, discuss it with your husband and tell him you would like to hear more.

Who says you are the only one in your bosses life, you would never really know. This almost never works out. If you both single, that is another story but you are not.

Reply to Star
Posted by: kiki | 2005/12/08

yeah, the crying at night thing is there too. and the long lingering looks and the whispered truths. and the pro's and cons and trying to ignore whats going on is making so much noise in my head i can't think straight.

so yes, calm, deep breath, but this agony must stop soon......

thanks for letting me know i am not alone.

Reply to kiki
Posted by: ....... | 2005/12/08

Hi Kiki

I know how you feel. I am in the same boat as you the only difference is I am the boss. I am very much in love with a guy that works for me, I have loved him for almost three years, I cry at night because my feelings are so intense. Thats why I came to this forum. Just like you I also go running and try todo everything to get him out of my mind, I even try not to socialise with him...but the feelings are still there. Its a tough one Kiki I dont know what the answer is, but you are not alone here.

I am so confused because there are different opinions on how we could approach it. Many say if you are married dont even think about it, some say confron the issue with the person and get closure or go into a relationship, but we cannot conitnue suspended in time like this because will harm us physically and mentally later. I suggest maybe talking to your best friend about it let them help you through it or alternatively go and see a CBT Cognitive behaviour therapist.

Its a cross we have to bear, but I feel better knowing that I am not alone and I am not weird just human like you, when everything else fails I jut say to myself just keep calm, just keep calm.

Reply to .......
Posted by: ZeeZee | 2005/12/08

Hi Kiki

Don't ever do anything to intensially hurt the one you love. Just say that one day he won't be there anymore and think of the quilt you will have...the people that will get hurt....family lives that will be destroyed. Go for councelling you will get through this....Good luck

Reply to ZeeZee

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