Posted by: zen | 2009/03/02

in laws hellp

i married a foreigner 3 years ago and have a 20month old baby and also 4 months pregnant with my second child, we settled in SA, while his parents are abroad, while here was abroad he used to give his entire salary to his dad for their welfare he was living with them, he is 28 now.intially when we settled here 3 years back i was supporting him as he couldnt, then he went into a partnership and still i was supporting him while he supported his parents,now he has his own business and still he is only interested in paying off his creditors and supporting his parents, i know he has to support them as they have no other means, but after visiting these in laws 2 years in a row, I can see how materialistic they are, and they cant even see that my husband cant support his kids but still has to support them.i am at my wits end every fight is about them, I have been too good to his parents that’ s y they are walking all over me, and they now planning to come stay with us in 2 years pls advise

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Our expert says:
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Its nice for someone to want to help to supoport his parents ( though if he has any brothers or sisters they should of course share that burden ) --- but i's ridiculous for a man to choose to marry and have children, but expect his wife to support the children, herself and him, and spend his entire salary on his parents. That's iresponsible. And supporting them should mean to ensure the basics of living, not luxuries for a greedy and materialistic couple. And to then expect them to come and live with you --- and what, have you physically care for them as well ? No way.
I agree that you need to draw normal boundaries, and insist that if you are to remain married to him, he must take his share of household expenses and work --- or you can divorce him, and the court will require him to pay full naintenance for his children, in preference to his parents.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Sandi | 2009/03/02

I wish this person who writes his/her name inonesentenceandthinkshesreallyclever would stop replying one sentence SH*T to ever question on this forum.
If you can' t say anything good, shut up.

Reply to Sandi
Posted by: buddahscooljesusisbetter | 2009/03/02

put your foot down draw some boundaries and stick to them, even if it means the ice cold shoulder.

Reply to buddahscooljesusisbetter

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