advertisement
Question
Posted by: confucious | 2005/12/01

In-law woes...

I am recently married and we're living in a flatlet attached to her parents' house. About two months ago we had a huge argument and was chased away. Her sister called me and asked me what the problems are that we are experiencing, and I told her. The next thing I hear is that I am going behind their backs and bad-mouthing them. Everything I said to her sister is the truth, but I have learned through this that some people tend to change situations to suit them. The truth eventually surfaced and my wife asked me to move back. I made her understand that I don't want to be involved in any of their family issues unless I am direclty the cause or it concerns me. Now, whenever my wife has an argument with any member of her family, I stay out of it. All of the things I supposedly bad-mouthed about them, is what's causing the arguments. What happens is that when they argue, my wife gets upset with me and tries to make it out to be my fault and that I am the cause. When I state the obvious, it gets worse and I seem to get the blame for it. How can I change this mindset?

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Well, it may have been painful, but at least you've learned an important lesson. Yes, people see the same situation in different ways, and some manipulate any situation so as to best suit themselves. Make sure her family know of your new policy not to get involved in any problems she might have with any of them , and trying to stay neutral.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

1
Our users say:
Posted by: Delene | 2005/12/01

Ur wife should know her priorities to start with.

I think you should really look into moving. This is an unhealthy situation of too many people involved in everyone's business.
And chasing you away!!!?
eish she has serious growing up to do here.

But i think take a stand, be the head of the house...and make sum decisions here that will be in your marriage best interest.
i.e...ditch this family in law very quickly...it will cost you yer mariage....

Reply to Delene

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement