Our expert says:
Its not easy, is it ? Well, I guess after his op, he's not going to be able to cheat again. He should start wearing adult nappies, for a start, available at most supermarkets and quite handy. Similarly, medical supply shops can seel a rubber sheet, and there are, in some supermarkets and pharmacies, some disposable mini-sheets to absorb some urine, which could be used over ordinary sheets.
But it is a lot of work. It seems most unfortunate that when your MIL approached the children they just screamed and did not offer to help. She should have asked them to suggest solutions other than her carrying the whole burden, and made it clear that if they don't want him to go into a home, they will have to provide the cae he needs.
I'm not sure what you are describing about him exposing himself to his daughter but not in a sexual way --- was he asking for an inspection or advice about the leaking of urine ? A urologist might have some ideas of procedures that could help improve his ability to control his urine, as it followed on the operation. There are also some medicines which can improve this.
If indeed dementia, of whatever origin, is becoming part of the problem, he will either need a live-in caregiver, or to move to a home which can care for him. The children must recognize their mother's needs as well, and not just expect her to handle all of the work and strain
Anyone else have any ideas ?
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